Creating the Magic of Us

Chapter 3

The fire show that Damien performed was just as spectacular as it's always been. The way the flames illuminated his features so perfectly was just an added bonus. Damien was gorgeous, even for a freak. His hair was dyed bright red, kept long on the top and short with his natural black coloring on the sides. His tan skin was covered in ink, just like Anti's, and his eyes were a striking shade of blue when his contacts were in. And although Anti loved the warm chocolate pigment of his natural eye color, the more extravagant you looked, the more the crowd loved you.

Anti was properly thrilled by Damien's performance, and the evening was actually going pretty well despite how rough things have been recently. They ate and talked, laughing at old jokes and smiling at recalled memories. It was almost like Marvin didn't even exist. Almost.

The wine flowed like water as they laid on the giant mound of blankets and soft pillows. Their bodies were tangled up together, just savoring how wonderful the other one felt. Anti might as well have been floating on air by the way Damien's lips crept up his neck and shoulders.

"You are beyond my greatest treasure," he whispered into Anti's pointed ear. "Your beauty pulls me closer, like a moth to a flame."

Damien always knew how to arouse him in a way that made him feel almost normal. Like the sound of Anti's own doubts and fears about those sideways glances weren't even there.

The two caress each and every part of each other's naked forms way before they began to make love. This relationship was precious and fragile, and they needed time to truly connect. By the time that Anti began to feel the heat from Damien's wetted fingers, he was already lost inside his own mind. He was flying amongst the pale moon and silver stars, but the blue eyes that were beckoning him closer were not the false ones from the man sliding in between his legs.

They were Marvin's. They would always be Marvin's, no matter how hard Damien tried to relight that flame that once set them on fire. Anti's eyes were closed, just taking in the barrage of different sensations as Damien began to slowly roll his hips. He couldn't deny that it felt heavenly to be underneath such a devoted lover, but his mind kept trailing off down a different path. The image of Marvin's parted lips flickered behind his eyelids, and Anti quickly lost himself in how ethereal the magician looked as he breathlessly moaned.

Anti could practically hear how sweet his voice sounded as it curled around his name, spreading goosebumps across his damp skin. He knew that it was all just a fever dream, that at this very moment Marvin was moaning someone else's name. The chanting of Mark's name was almost like a mantra, and Anti cringed as it filled his head. Marvin would never be his, but he just couldn't accept that right now.

Little did he know that across the way, in a cozy trailer that belonged to the ringleader himself, Marvin's thoughts were aimed at the mysterious man in black, rather than on his lover's lackluster performance. Marvin stared up at the ceiling as Mark gently thrusts into him, trying his best to fake the pleasure that Mark seemed to think he was giving him. Every time they were intimate it was always the same damn thing, and as much as Marvin adored his partner, the sex was just plain awful. He needed something more. Something passionate and wild that would leave him breathless and starry-eyed, not bored to tears and falling asleep. Mark just didn't have a good rhythm, his pillow talk was cringy, and he never actually came close to finding Marvin's prostate.

Mark had no idea how Marvin actually felt about such things, but telling Mark would absolutely destroy him. There were other things that were more important than sex, and the magician knew that. It was what kept him holding onto his lover's hand during the gentle aftercare, and enjoying the rushed kisses before his time on stage. Mark loved him, and adored him as if he were the most precious thing in the entire world. But that's not what Marvin wanted. He wanted to be with someone as wild and free as he was on the inside. And that just wasn't Mark.

Anti was getting closer to his fall, and the flickering images of Marvin were blending into the face of his actual lover. Damien groaned, sliding his calloused hands over the surface of Anti's tattooed skin, his breath as hot and sensual as if he were still breathing fire. The familiar feeling of a snake coiled and ready to strike was in their bellies, and soon a rush of burning heat was falling in between the two. Damien was only a moment behind, leaning down to bite the side of his lover's neck. Anti cried out as he was filled, Marvin's name on the tip of his tongue.

"I love you," Damien shuddered, his eyes enraptured as his lover fell deeper into bliss. Anti's green eyes opened, staring at absolutely everything and yet, nothing at all. His response was as automatic as breathing, smiling up at the image he mistook to be Marvin.

"I love you too," he breathed, reaching up to caress Damien's cheek. "You'll never know how much I love you."

Anti meant every word of it, but only when came to Marvin. Damien would always hold a special place in his heart, and Anti is thankful for what they had when they actually had it. But he's tired of playing pretend. He doesn't want to hurt Damien any longer, but he can't work up the courage to tell his lover that he isn't happy with him anymore. It would absolutely crush him to know that Anti has been pining for another. So Anti will keep lying through his teeth to maintain the illusion of happiness, tucking his true feelings away where no one would ever find them.