Creating the Magic of Us

Chapter 5

The next night's performance began like it usually did, with Mark addressing the crowd in his trademark dramatic style. The audience always ate up every word he ever spoke, and it set the tone for the rest of the night pretty easily. Most of the performers were pretty pumped up after Mark's energetic introduction, but tonight, things were obviously different. Mark's voice was a little shakier than it normally was, and the audience could pick up on the subtle cues that he was very anxious about something. Even the performers were thrown off by it, looking to Marvin for answers that he wouldn't provide. The magician was distracted and distant tonight, scanning the audience for the mysterious man in black. The very same man that invaded his dreams last night.

It was only a brief moment of intense passion that played out behind his closed eyelids, but it was enough to fan the flames of curiosity a little more until it was all that Marvin could think about. The sharp bite of his lips against Marvin's skin, the warm blood running down the scratches on his back, the feel of Anti sinking so deeply inside of him played on loop, and Marvin's curiosity for that forbidden fruit was becoming an all-consuming need.

His blue eyes searched the crowd for any sign of him, going through the motions of his performance like he was on autopilot. The audience couldn't really tell the difference. But Mark could.

He'd woken up alone this morning, clutching onto Marvin's pillow that was left behind in his stead. There was no note, no explanation as to why he'd left so abruptly this morning, but Mark could see something in Marvin's eyes that terrified him. It was a look of longing, like he was desperate for something that wasn't there. The very same look he noticed last night when he spoke about marriage. Marvin was hiding something from him, but he had no idea how he should address it, if he ever would.

They were still together, and Mark was thankful for that, but he didn't want to lose Marvin to a problem he wasn't even aware was there in the first place. He'd do anything in his power to keep his beloved by his side. He just hoped that Marvin would fight just as hard for him. It's not the first time that Marvin has become dissatisfied with the things he had. His heart is very fickle, and his affection is fleeting if his attention is drawn elsewhere. He becomes obsessed with the things he can't have, and Mark usually has to distract him with something better in order to keep his interest in the ringmaster alive. Honestly, it's a miracle that Marvin has stayed with Mark for as long as he had, and it would only be a matter of time before someone pulled him away for good.

The magician's performance ended and the crowd cheered with praise, tossing coins onto the stage as he bowed dramatically. And like he always did, Anti watched from the shadows, hiding behind the stage and longing for a taste of what Mark had.

Tonight would be different though. Anti was going to make sure of that. Even if it would eventually cost him the warm safety of Damien's touch, he needed to feel the shimmering rays the magician's light, if only for a moment. Inside his back pocket was the note he had written countless times, but the words were true to his heart. Anti had timed the bows and the fanfare to know that he had only a small window of time to place the note on the small table inside of Marvin's dressing room. 

Luckily for the green-eyed man, Marvin seemed slightly distracted tonight, as if he were trying to find something that he'd lost in the crowd. Anti couldn't even begin to imagine what would have been so captivating for the magician to fixate on tonight, but it must have been important enough to cause him to give such a toned down performance.

Anti kept to the shadows as he slipped into Marvin's dressing room, leaving the note on the table where he knew the magician would find it. He didn't write his name on it. That would be madness, of course, but perhaps there were enough clues for Marvin to know who wrote to him. Anti is gone in a flash, retreating behind the stage with his heart in his throat. He was so nervous and thought for a moment that he might actually pass out from the stress. He just hoped that Marvin wouldn't become disgusted once he knew who his admirer really was.

For once, Marvin is glad that Mark isn't waiting for him with flowers and sweet words. The desire to just be alone with his thoughts is blocking anything else from his mind. That is until he sees the note neatly folded on his dressing room table.

Confusion turned to curiosity as he picked it up, reading the words that Marvin never knew that he needed to hear.

My silver star above the clouds,

You are too bright to be seen, and too stunning to be held. You are a beacon of light that has captured the black velvet sky as well as my heart. I know that we may never meet, but please remember your grace and beauty will always be my greatest desire. I long to be able to touch your lips, even if only in my dreams.

I love you,
Your dark shadow behind the knife blade

It was only the fluttering of Marvin's breath that caused him to connect that the letter had left his fingers to fall the ground below. His heart stuttered in his chest, overwhelmed by the beauty of this stranger's bared soul. It was too much for him to take at that moment, and his knees gave out as he crumpled to the floor, eyes softly shut and fluttering behind closed lids.

Anti's genuine love for Marvin was enough to make him faint, but it was also enough to draw Mark's attention to the loud crash that came from Marvin's dressing room. Maybe his words were a bit too powerful.