Anne with an E - A Winter Journey

17 - Is everything okay?

Anne rolled over onto her right side so that she had her back to Gilbert. She wished she could stay awake so that she could make sure she didn't accidentally touch him this time but her eyes felt heavy and she knew that sleep was inevitable.

Gilbert, on the other hand, was wide awake. For the second night in a row he felt unable to sleep and he still wasn't sure why. Memories of last night played over and over in his head and he felt a little disappointed that Anne had so blatantly rolled away, as if she was repulsed by him.

Gilbert stared at the ceiling trying to make sense of the situation. So much had happened since he'd met the girls on the train. When he'd spotted them, he'd been so excited to see Anne. Ever since they'd made their truce, their friendship had been growing and when they spoke, Anne would occasionally blush or stumble over her words, igniting a small bit of hope in him that maybe she felt the same way as he did. When she'd held onto him as she slept the night before, Gilbert had felt his heart swell and allowed his hope to flourish with it, only for it to be ripped to shreds the next morning when Anne had openly declared her distaste for him. The most frustrating part, however, was that Gilbert could not switch off his feelings. Even when he had resolved to forget about Anne and move on, he was pulled straight back to her when she got lost in the blizzard. The idea of losing Anne had forced him to realise that his feelings were even stronger than he thought and now Gilbert was back at square one, trying to cope with his unrequited love.

Gilbert sighed and sat up, resting his elbows on his knees and running his hand through his hair in frustration.

Anne was just drifting off to sleep when she heard Gilbert sigh and felt him moving behind her. She opened her eyes and snuck a quick glance over her shoulder. Something about the way that Gilbert sat, slightly hunched over with his hands in his hair, told Anne that something was troubling him. She took a deep breath and sat up next to him.

"Anne," he said as she appeared beside him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"Gilbert, is everything okay?" she asked.

"Yes. Well, no. Actually..." Gilbert paused, unable to find the words.

Anne stayed silent, patiently waiting for him to continue.

"Anne," he said decisively a few moments later. He turned to face her, briefly casting his eyes towards Diana and Ruby to make sure they were asleep before continuing. "I thought that we were friends. I thought that we had resolved all of our differences. But then this morning..."

"Gilbert," Anne interrupted him, her eyes wide and sincere, just like the day she had apologised for the things she said at his father's funeral. "I must explain myself to you and I must apologise. The things you heard me say this morning, none of it was true."

"Then why did you say it?" asked Gilbert doubtfully.

"This won't make much sense now, but when I first came to Avonlea, some of the girls at school told me that I wasn't allowed to speak to you because one of them liked you." Anne paused for a moment, hoping Gilbert wouldn't work out who she meant. "I was so desperate to make friends that I agreed. That's why I was so awful to you when you tried to be nice to me. And that is why I said those things this morning. I felt terrible when I realised that you had heard because I didn't mean any of it. I'm so very sorry."

Gilbert furrowed his brow. He had never heard anything so ridiculous. And the girls at school always said the boys were immature! He did feel some sympathy for Anne, though. He remembered the way some of the other students had laughed at her in school when she first joined. She had so desperately wanted to fit in that he couldn't blame her for agreeing to the girls' silly rules.

"So, does this mean you only want to be my friend in secret?" he asked. "You don't want to be seen being friendly to me in public?"

"No!" Anne replied quickly. "You see, Ruby told me this afternoon that that person doesn't like you anymore, so we can be friends."

Gilbert didn't say anything as he considered what she had said.

"That is, if you can forgive me" added Anne, "I'm truly sorry, Gilbert."

Gilbert's eyes met hers as a huge grin spread across his face. "Shall we make another truce?" he asked cheekily.

Anne thrust out her right hand and smiled as Gilbert clasped it with his.

"I promise I won't break it this time," she said earnestly.

"Good, because I won't let you," replied Gilbert.