Anne with an E - A Winter Journey

19 - I have no idea how I feel

Anne smiled dreamily at the ceiling, enjoying the fluttering sensation in her stomach. She felt like she could stay there all day, enjoying this new affection that she felt for Gilbert.

"Come on! Let's get up. It's time to go!" Diana's decisive words brought Anne back to reality. "I'm hungry and we have no food left. We must get home today!"

"I suppose you are right," agreed Ruby with a yawn. "I've quite enjoyed the adventure but I'm desperate to get home to a real bed!"

Gilbert sat up and ran his fingers through his hair. He looked hesitantly at Anne before he spoke. "You're right, Diana. We must get home today. But we must walk slowly and support Anne so that her ankle doesn't get any worse."

Anne smiled gratefully at her friends as they nodded in agreement with Gilbert. Not wanting to delay them any further, Anne was the first to move and begin packing up their few belongings.

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A few hours later, the group were making good progress as they trekked through the snow. The sun shone brightly and there wasn't a cloud in the sky, making it much easier for them to navigate through the woods.

Diana, Gilbert and Ruby had taken it in turns to lend an arm to Anne, helping to keep the weight off her ankle. Thankful for their service, Anne rewarded each of her assistants with wonderful stories of adventure. Most of them revolved around the Snow Queen but occasionally Anne felt inspired by a particular tree or flower poking through the snow and would invent new stories as she went.

"Diana, lets swap and I'll walk with Anne for a bit," said Ruby, noticing that Diana was beginning to tire.

"Thank you," said Diana as she passed Anne's arm to Ruby's shoulder and ran ahead to catch up with Gilbert.

"Oh, Ruby!" gushed Anne. "I know this adventure did not go to plan but I have loved it nonetheless!"

"Is that so?" enquired Ruby watching Anne out the corner of her eye. "Is there any particular reason you feel that way?"

"I can't say there is," replied Anne happily. "I've simply enjoyed spending time with my friends."

"Is there one friend you have particularly enjoyed spending time with?" teased Ruby.

Anne's cheeks reddened and her voice came out higher than intended. "No, I don't know what you are talking about!"

"Well, I noticed that you and Gilbert seemed to be getting on very well this morning," Ruby responded knowingly.

There was silence as Anne deliberated what to say next. Her instincts told her to deny everything that Ruby was suggesting but deep down she knew she was right. Anne wasn't sure what she felt for Gilbert but she didn't want to lie like the last time. Look where that had gotten her!

"Anne," Ruby said gently, her tone more serious now. "You can tell me anything, you know. You can trust me."

Anne turned to look at her friend and realised that she was right. Now that she knew Ruby liked Charlie, Anne could finally be honest about Gilbert. And who better to confide in than Ruby? She knew all about these feelings that were so new to Anne!

"Okay, I have enjoyed spending time with Gilbert," Anne finally admitted.

"Really!?" Ruby squealed. "Oh, I just knew it! How exciting! Do you like him? Do you love him?"

Anne burst out laughing at her ridiculous friend. "Of course, I don't love him! I have no idea how I feel!"

"Oh! I see..." said Ruby slowly, dragging out each word. "It's just a crush!"

"A what?" asked Anne, as her heart sank. She wasn't sure exactly what Ruby meant but it didn't seem to fit how she felt about Gilbert.

"A crush," Ruby repeated. "You know, when you think about them all the time and you have butterflies in your stomach when you see them?"

"I guess," said Anne trying to mask her disappointment, "That is how I feel."

"Well don't worry about it too much" Ruby said supportively. "It will pass soon enough. Just like it did for me!"

Anne forced a smile for her well-meaning friend as her eyes found Gilbert's figure up ahead. "Maybe it is just a crush," she thought with a sigh.

At that moment, Diana's voice tore Anne from her thoughts. "Look!" she shouted gleefully. "It's Avonlea!"