optional // l.s.

nineteen

louis had an appointment with ella at three.

it was just a check up appointment to see how louis was reacting to his medicines and talk about a few things. it wasn't supposed to be a serious session but louis felt like ella should know about harry. she should know the truth. but then again he was afraid, what if she backfired? what if he jeopardized his relationship?

they've only been together for a month. they celebrated harry's birthday at harry's parents' house with gemma and a big dinner. louis gave him one of his books as a present since he really didn't have the money to get him anything but it was the thought that counts, right? they've kissed nonstop, went out of town to try new places out and louis even stayed the night with him once. it snowed in pretty bad and harry didn't want louis to go home in the storm so louis woke up the next morning in harry's arms. it was new but it was wonderful.

since liam found out about louis' dirty little secret, he has tried his absolute best to have zayn keep his mouth shut because zayn accidentally lets things slip sometimes. mainly little things, like "i smoked in the basement," or "my dad bought my cigarettes today," but nothing major. but louis and harry were definitely major -- one wrong move could fuck up everything they have and they don't want that. they are both mutually happy where they are now, cuddling on harry's couch while louis reads a book against his chest and harry watches something on the telly. 

"i have to be there by two-thirty to check in," louis said against his chest. 

"i'll take you," harry murmured and rubbed his arm. "tell liam he doesn't have to come get you."

"are you sure?" the smaller boy asked.

"i'm sure, babe," he kissed his head. "i'll pick you back up, too."

louis hummed and kissed his chin. "you're the best."

"only for you," harry replied cheekily and smiled when he felt louis kiss his skin again.

"thank you," he says softly.

harry only hums and nuzzled his cheek on the boy's head.

---

louis' appointment was a bit emotional for him. they talked about his mum for the first time in a while. his sessions were usually involved around louis' past trauma with his brother, how he was doing with his coping skills and making sure he's not thinking about harming himself again.

so far, louis is near three months harm-free, which is such an achievement for him. louis updated that he has been writing a lot more and talking to liam or his snake when he feels down. he didn't feel weird about talking to his pet because she would occasionally flick her tiny tongue out and snuggle around him. it was like the good days when louis would stay up all night reading books. he would read to his snake while she lounged around his shoulders and she would just lay there, basking in her human's warmth.

ella asked if anything new had happened lately. louis picked at his nails, one of his nervous habits and ella closed her laptop. usually if louis was nervous to tell her something, it was big. he specifically asked her if she could resist typing everything he said into her file and she understood but mentioned some big fragments of what he says should go into his documents. they could reflect on it in the future and talk about things.

"i um," louis blushed. "i have a boyfriend."

"really?" ella gasped. "that's amazing, louis! what's his name? tell me all about him," she scooted forward, interested in what her client had to say.

louis chuckled and put his hands in his lap. "his name is harry, and we've been a thing ever since i got home from good sam."

"do you have pictures?"

louis smiled and nodded, grabbing his phone. he unlocked it and showed her his background, which was a picture of the two at harry's mum's house. harry was holding a glass of wine (that he barely drank out of because he had to drive back home) while louis was snuggled into his side, legs thrown across the man's lap. harry had a hand on louis' knee and the two were just lost in eachother's eyes. it was an off guard photo that gemma took. louis remembered that night. they went to visit and have dinner and harry was talking to louis about school, then louis got sidetracked and stopped talking, just stuck in a daze because his boyfriend was so so so amazing.

"is it hard for you to do this?" ella asked softly. "is it hard to be in a relationship, especially with a man, after your assault?"

louis pursed his lips and continued staring at the picture. "kind of. i mean, he's been there for so much that it's almost as if he knows everything that's happened. he visited me in the hospital, wrote me while i was at revive, and he just makes sure i'm okay. he understands my point of view, understands i'm scared but-"

louis smiled softly once he got a message.

harry 💚: when i pick you up from therapy, and we're going out. okay? okay. kissy 😚

louis shook his head with a fond smile. "he makes sure i take my meds, makes sure i eat and sleep well, he's like my personal alarm. plus, he knows when i'm out of it, knows when i want attention, he knows me like the back of my hand and i just -- he makes me strong, ella. i really think this is working out."

---

louis pulled his -- harry's -- jacket around him while he walked to the car. harry leaned over and opened the door, making sure the heat was on full blast and the man was greeted with a kiss on his cheek.

"how did it go?" he asked.

"good," louis hummed and buckled in, smiling when harry grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "i told ella about us, except for the obvious fact. um, she asked if it would be hard for me."

harry nodded as he drove with one hand. "i can see it being difficult for you, babe. but that's what we're doing together. we're getting through it and making things better, right?"

"right," louis smiled softly. "so, pretty boy, where are you taking me?"

harry hummed and pressed on the brakes. "it's a surprise."

---

so uh yeah this was short i apologize but there will be some extreme larry bonding coming up. beware, get your tissues ready because i will be writing in the point of view as a child who lost a mother as well. louis and i relate very fucking much. the pos dad & dead mom, depression, etc.

im thinking about doing a character ask for this fic, as well. i already have one set up for ink and innocence (that i only have 4 questions for, if anyone wants to help a sister out let me know lol), and for night shift.

i'm starting to love this book tbh. im proud of myself for being able to write something about things that need to be noticed/seen more (like the mentall illnesses, that people arent looking for attention, that broken people can still be loved & etc). like...not to be narcissistic or anything but writing is one of the only things im good at.

thank you all for your reads, comments and votes!