Friends With Distance || Bucky x Reader

Chapter Sixteen

A/N: Just at 2300 & I'm so sorry for taking forever on this chapter AGH, school is a mess RIP

(Y/N)'s POV

You wake up, stressed. You stay in bed, twisting and turning as you try to fall back to sleep but you can't. You finally manage to get out of bed and go downstairs. You notice people in the kitchen but ignore them and head to the basement. You pass by the locked doors in the dim hallway, including the one that The Winter Soldier was locked into. You walk to the last room and enter to find benches, a punching bag and a small case of throwing knives. You turn around and lock the heavy door before heading toward the knives to begin your training. They always told you never to train when you're angry, especially with a weapon but you never listen.

Bucky's POV

I woke up after a long night, remembering what had happened the day before. I pass my (Y/N)'s room and see that she is still in a deep sleep, I sigh and head downstairs to the kitchen where I find Steve with Iz. "Hey, goodmorning guys." I speak in a monotone voice. They stop in their movements and look over and me. My brows furrow in confusion before Steve breaks the ice. "Hey, how uh- are you and uh- (Y/N) doing?" He asks and I shrug before heading over to the espresso machine. I take out a mug when I hear footsteps come down the stairs and turn to see (y/n) making her way down and past the kitchen without so much as a hello. I turn back around and fill my mug with the heated liquid before turning to Steve and signaling my head toward the front door as a message to come outside. I turn and head for the door before taking a seat on the porch steps.

Steve's POV

I notice when Buck signals and I nod. He turns and leaves when I kiss Iz on the cheek and explain that I will be right back because Bucky needs me. She nods and walks off to the living room. I smile at her while walking outside the door and taking a seat beside James on the steps. I turn to face him and sigh, "What's going on with you two?" I ask. He shakes his head and faces you, "I think it's time we end it. I--" I cut him off before he can say another word, "Woah, have you thought this through? I mean, you have been through so much together and--" Before I could continue to speak, he cuts me off, "That's exactly it, Steve. I have put her through so much with this damn poison inside my head. Without him out, we can never be together and you can already see how she acted just now, how much she hates me. I love her but I'm willing to put those feelings away if it means she is safe and free from me. Plus when I was with Nat--" I shake my head and cut him off once again, "Nat? Romanoff has nothing to do with you two, if anything she is just another one of the obstacles between you and (Y/N), but you don't see it. Natasha is an enemy to her and you spending all of that time with her, completely broke you guys apart. (Y/N) is one of the strongest women I have met and she isn't even a hero, okay? She is tough and she clearly cares for you too. You aren't hurting her, you can't control how you become the winter soldier but you can control this relationship and whether or not you end up with a future with her." I nod and take a deep breath. Bucky looks at me and follows my words yet still says, "I do love her.... Which is why we have to break up. I will better myself and get that son of a bitch away from her and me so that we can be together. Plus Steve, you're the romantic, isn't there a saying 'If two people are meant to be, they will find their way back to each other?" He chuckles before standing up. He turns to walk away but I grab his arm, "Are you sure, Buck? You guys are great together..." I ask while looking up at him to sense even a bit of regret, but he just nods his head and goes back inside. I sigh and follow behind him to go back to Izzy on the couch.

(Y/N)'s POV

You continue throwing knives at the wall ahead and once you realize there are no more to throw you groan and turn to the benches. You do a upper body stretch to relive your tension and lay back on the cold, metal bench. You stay there for what feels like forever, just thinking of what has happened thus far on this visit. You came for a man, who you were clearly falling for and ended up meeting someone who had a dark secret and life, someone you didn't expect to fall for. But with him and those feelings, came fights and stressors and especially even more secrets. You stood up and headed for the punching bag, you didn't bother putting on your gloves, instead you just punched it and with every punch, came a scream. You screamed to stop yourself from breaking down, to stop all the bad thoughts going through your brain. You were in pain, even before you met James and Steve, even before starting to talk to Buck online, but in the military. Everything was coming back, all of the memories, they all mashed into your head when you thought of The Winter Soldier and the fights he has brought out of you. You didn't even care about fighting, you loved the adrenaline rush every time, you just hated having to pretend you weren't scared every time. You loved Bucky and you knew you did but something about your current situation was just bringing you down. You continue punching the bag, using it to push away memories, when you hear footsteps outside the door. You continue your workout before turning your head to the door opening. Bucky.