Short Stories: Love

Screaming in the Void

I closed my eyes. The beating of my heart couldn't be any worse. The cold wind tugged at my hair and brushed against my exposed back. I shivered. I couldn't feel my arms. The only thing I could smell is the thick scent of pine that has always been around my entire life and the only thing I could see is the edge of the cliff and the night sky.

I always came here, have been ever since I wandered here. Sometimes I bring a book to read, sometimes a guitar to sing away the pain. Though, I often purely come out here with nothing but my bag with snacks, extra clothes and a notebook with a pen attached to it. No one knows I come here. Not my best friend who just so happens to be my crush and definitely not my parents. I flopped on my back, shuddering at the feeling of cold grass and mountain dew.

The stars are brighter tonight, or at least, it felt like it. I hummed, flicking my eyes to the cliff's edge. Sometimes, when I come here, I feel tempted to jump. Whenever, school got to me or the bullying for being the openly gay person there. Oh yeah, my parents try their best but sometimes they can be quite rude. I suppose it has to do with the generational difference and the stereotypes of my generation.

I licked my lips. My notebook already had a pre-planned suicide note if I do fall over the edge. I let my fingers play with the grass for a bit. Sometimes I felt empty, but that's alright. I continued staring at the edge, thinking and wondering. I sat up and shrugged on my tank top. The cold was my only solace right now. I sat at the edge of the cliff, ignoring the way my heart thunders with fear and apprehension. My legs swung to and fro as my note book found its way to my hands and my pen started moving almost on its own.

Then a curious sound caught my attention.

It sounded heavy and careless. As if they were deliberately being spotted. The sound of grass being stepped on and I paused in my actions. Seems like, I've been found. I blinked and leaned backwards, gazing up at the stars. I could point out Ursa Major and Ursa Minor. My eyes found their way to Orion and I couldn't help the smile that bloomed as I recalled the myth of Orion the Hunter.

"Hey," A deep voice caught my attention. I recognized it anywhere, my best friend is here. "I hope you wouldn't mind if I join you?"

I have a thin smile. "Not a problem,"

He sat beside me. Tilting his head towards the sky, "The sky is beautiful isn't it?"

"It is. So, why are you here?" I asked as I closed my notebook.

"I come here sometimes," He replied and all I could do was hum.

"I also come here. Most if not all the time," I felt something warm brush against my cold and numb hands.

"Hey, I hope you wouldn't mind if I took a look right?" He asked and I shrugged.

Sleep has been evading me lately as nightmares of taunting got worse and the edge and caution I approach school with has been driving me sleepless.

It would be understandable that I would agree, in my state I had forgotten about the suicide letter I had written.

The sound of pages turning paused and I held my breath. I knew what he found.

"You..." He mumbled, "You aren't alone you know. I'm here for you,"

I faced him for the first time this evening. "I know." I whispered in the crisp night air like it was the heaviest secret I held.

"You do?" I kept my smile that felt so melancholic and false as if a mask was covering my face.

"I do. It isn't your fault you know?" I told him. Perhaps the reason he's worried, my traitorous mind whispered, is because he doesn't want to know he could have done something.

"It is my fault. After all, I should have stopped it before it escalated to this, don't think I didn't see how they trashed your stuff and vandalized it," His tone edged onto something that on might have considered being accusation.

"I won't actually do it, no matter how many times it has crossed my head," I confessed as another gentle breeze grazed my skin.

"I'll make sure you don't," Was all he said.

I leaned against him and ignored the way tears pooled in my eyes. "All I need is someone who can stay no matter how hard it is to be with me," I murmured.

The confession must have struck something within him for in the blink of an eye, he was hugging me. Holding me tight, as if the moment he lets me go I would fall over the edge of the cliff.

"I'll be that someone if you let me," He mumbled into my ears.

That was it. I couldn't hold back the tears any longer as the fake smile slipped and I held onto him for dear life. Tears streaming down my face as sobs wracked my body. We stayed like that for who knows how long as I allowed myself to cry for the first time since the beginning of the bullying.

All the while he held me, holding me and whispering assurances into my ears until the sun rose and my head was pounding.

"Thank you," I told him as I reluctantly let go.

Kind eyes stared into mine for a while as he said, "Always."

My heart felt lighter and the emptiness that sometimes ate at me from the inside seemed to go away. I smiled for real this time. For once, it looked as if things were getting better. He handed me my notebook and I took it before flipping open the page with the note and I tore it out.

The paper tore easily and I crumpled it before allowing it to fall down the cliff. Watching it tumble down, along with the sense of emptiness that dogged my trail.

"Goodbye, my sorrow," I mumbled as it disappeared from view. I grabbed my bag and turned to him.

"We should get going now, I'll see you later?" I asked apprehension in my eyes.

He nodded his head and gave me a bright smile. "10 am, meet me at the park. It's a date,"

I then watched as he took my hand and lead me out of the forest and away from the cliff.

Date huh? I couldn't help but stare at the kind smile and even kinder eyes of his, I could get used to this.