Short Stories: Love

Background Vibes

She's in the background again.

She always is. Her friends are drifting away from her, talking to people she knows they mutually dislike. She doesn't know if it's because of her, if she did something wrong or if they simply don't like her anymore.

Perhaps she's just not that interesting anymore?

She frowned but buried herself into the book she's reading, the title being 'Day One'. She wasn't in the mood for reading something so happy anymore. Not when it has something that she misses.

She wasn't able to have a decent conversation with them for weeks now. The most they say is hello before drifting away. And doesn't that hurt? She hummed. She knows she should be able to cope with it. But, her insecurities had come back with a vengeance, leaping at her weakness and tearing her carefully built confidence into shreds.

She's not sure if they want to be her friends anymore, even if she knows they love her and she loves them too, it's just that... Do they love her as much as she loves them? She doesn't know. They barely talk now, and she can't help but feel as if they're slipping away from her fingers.

Of course, she's always had the edging loneliness. It simply hides away when her love for her friends and her family come in. However, it still does strike. It preys on her in the middle of the night when she wonders and thinks and cries. It reminds her of times long forgotten when she had no one and the only thing she had were books and music and a semblance of a friendship with some of the students.

She tries her best not to cry, not to panic. They're busy...right?

But when she sees them gravitating towards other people, the more popular ones, the loud mouth gossip, the model, the singer with a boyfriend, she can't help but withdraw.

She still does her usual things, buying them food for them while they do things so that they could eat. She follows them silently, quiet footsteps that dog their step as they walk through the corridors. She stays behind them, watching as they talk to other students who they know and who she simply smiles at.

It hurts but that's fine, because they're busy and they aren't obligated to give her their full attention.

She doesn't deserve it anyway.

Soon she starts lagging behind and falls back on the things she used to do when all there was for company was her. She starts playing song after song in empty classroom, she starts reading and she starts writing. Most of them are songs, the others are poems, and all of them share the same theme of love and friendship.

She's not sure if she can believe what she's singing but it's enough to give her hope.

Her friends are still close together, bonding over their favourite music artist (she doesn't know who they are) and a guy on the internet who's managed to take center stage. They're seat mates and they giggle during class over a joke only they know. She sits in front of them, sitting next to the student she dislikes the most (they used to bond over how unsettled they were over how much he smiled. He smiled no matter what and it's chilling.)

She's watching them fade away from her and she doesn't know what to do.

She can see them a few ways away from her, laughing with them and why are they doing this? She's not sure anymore and she knows she shouldn't be this hungry for attention, she shouldn't be starving like a thirsty man surrounded by ocean water in a raft. She's not supposed to be possessive over them, they can make their own decisions but she still feels the ache when they giggle together while she silently tails after them.

She can't deny though the pang in her heart when she watches them smile.

That pain only amplified when she checks their social media and realizes that they had a sleepover without her.

She stops caring after that.

When she goes to school she still smiles and says hello but she never follows after them.

They don't notice that she's gone.

Someone else must have noticed because the next thing she knows, the smartest, kindest, and in her quiet opinion (even if her 'friends' said otherwise), the most handsome guy in class approaches her with a smile on his face.

She smiles back and they start talking. They find out more and more about each other, growing closer until the pang in her heart is but a scar with a memory and is patched up the this new friendship that blooms between them.

The popular ones, the ones who her 'friends' speak to now, they notice and start teasing him (they only notice her if she's next to someone else, even the teachers forget she even exist, which is crazy considering there's only fourteen people in their class) over their friendship.

She hopes that this friendship won't be taken away and isn't afraid to tell him of this insecurity, so used to confiding in him things that she normally wouldn't say to others until they know each other by heart. He reassures her the next day by bringing her a box of cookies he made by himself that night.

The feeling in her heart made her cry as she ate a cookie, savouring the chocolate taste and the way it crumbled. He hugged her, ignoring the whispers and the stares from everyone else, even if it would only fuel the rumours.

"It's alright, I'm here for you." He told her.

She held onto him like it's the last thing she'll ever do and he let her.

Maybe, her 'friends' drifting away aren't such a bad thing because in the end, she got a better friend who makes her cookies and teaches her the things in math that she's not sure about. He helps her with her problems and she helps him.

Maybe there might be something more or none at all but she knows that for now, she's doing better than she has before with a person who she knows cares about her as much as she does him. Friend for friend, sorrow for joy, she got something she wanted and together they laughed in the hidden and far corners of the library.

This, she knew, she can definitely see lasting for years on end.