Voraciously

Lady-luck

 Hello, my name's Naruto and I might just have the shittiest luck on this god-forsaken Earth. I will not excuse my language or even the fact that I damned the holy name of 'god'.  Who the hell (pun-intended) cares if there's a god or not, when you're born with this kind of fate, my fate. 

Here's the story,

Let's get past all this "mommy" and "daddy" bullshit about how, "when two people love each other very much" bullshit and dish out some honest truth. Some horny fucker, let's call him, father, decided to shack up some woman he happened to pass by. This woman, we will call her, mom, gets knocked-up and BAM! Baby is born.

But I'm not here to tell you how the fucking reproductive cycle works. I'm here to tell you what happened after this unplanned pregnancy! So this shit-for-brains guy (father), isn't human. He's a fucking demon, but he isn't like this ugly-ass flying monkey with horns from Hell. He isn't Satan's servant. This dude is just supernatural, there's no need to bring religion in this to associate supernatural creatures with creations made by god or a god. If you believe any of that shit. This is just a supernatural fuck boy, but if we must give it a name for the sake of labels, he's what many refer to as an Incubus. You know those suave, charming guys with wings and giant dongs that suck the life force out of humans when they fuck 'em. Yeah. He's that. 

Well, long-story-short, this dumbass goes and fucks another supernatural creature thinking she's a human. Seriously! Don't supernatural creatures sense this shit a mile away? Don't they have little receptors or something, like ants, that sense their own kind? But hell, it could of been mom's fault. She might've been the stupid one, I mean she did lure him in after all, because, guess what?! She's a fucking siren! Nymph? Mermaids? I don't give a fuck what you call 'em, that's what she was! Those bitches aren't as nice as fairytales make them out to be. Get this? They sing to you from far away and lure you into fucking danger! They're usually surrounded by rocks, cliffs, and water. Most humans travel by boat at sea, so they make these poor humans crash their boats and then they drown. What happens to the survivors? Well now they are fish food. These pretty little mermaids swim out and eat you! Fucked up, right?!

You're probably thinking how the hell did a mermaid and an Incubus get it on? Well, hate to burst your bubble, but sirens do have legs! If they are on dry land for a while, their tail reverts back into legs. But these fuckers will still eat a human, if given a chance to lure one away into the forest where they like to hide. 

Anyways, thinks to mom and dad, I was born. An incubus/siren hybrid. Sounds like one big happy family right? Well, I love putting you down! Incubus aren't monogamous and he never even knew he got the siren pregnant! They just like to fuck and feed, and he was long gone before I could even breath! Talk about a shitty father. Mom was no better. Sirens are pack creatures, but they are pretty racist. Creaturist? I don't know. They basically don't like any other species besides themselves. Narcissistic bitches! They also hate men! Never seen a male siren have you? It's because it's a female-dominant society. If a male is born, it's instantly torn to shreds by the others. Cruel right? Well, luck's a bitch, because I was born a male. 

Now this is when shit gets interesting, I wasn't fish food, obviously, since I'm talking now. Nah. When mom was having me in the forest, and all her fantastic friends were watching her have birth (weirdos), whether to see if I were female or male, claws and teeth ready, a forest fire started! Mom rushed her birth and I was born. The second she saw I was male, she scratched by face, ready to beat me, until the fire broke out even more and cause a tree to fall. Scared for her life, this bitch runs off, leaving a newborn bleeding baby to die from suffocation or third-degree burns. Who knows what would of gotten to me first. But lady-luck likes to play games, and some forest ranger came to the rescue me. Guess he heard me crying, because he ran straight for me. Anyways to this day, that ranger, he's goes by name of Iruka, and he became my father. And I wouldn't wish it any different in the world.  But this guy isn't some normal forest ranger. He's a wood nymph or dryad. He basically lives around the forest and took up a job as a ranger so he could live in the forest and observes this shit daily! He was a fucking hero in my eyes.  He taught me everything I needed to know, but he there's one thing he couldn't teach me. How to act like a fucking human! Apparently, this guy associates with humans on a regular basis, and he wants me to start high school?! 

Shits about to hit the fan.