Do I Mean 'Nothing' To You? (A chandler riggs fanfic)

Chapter 12

After what I saw, I couldn't stop thinking about it. It hurt so much. My heart was broken into a million pieces. Like broken glass, and every time I try to fix it, it just breaks even more and I get more hurt.

Oh, who am I kidding? I don't think anything can ever fix me- my heart.

I stayed in bed, as I hugged a pillow and laid in my bed as I stared into eternal space. Nothing mattered no more. I actually.. Loved him.. He was like my air, I needed him. I guess he didn't feel the same.

I felt like crying, but with no tears, I guess i ran out of tears to cry..

I wanted to stay in bed all day, but I knew I had to get up and do shit some point. So I slowly got up, I tilted my head all the way. I heard the bones in my neck crack as I did that to each side.

I headed to my dresser and grabbed a pair of black leggings and a black shirt. I grab a pair of socks and my combat boots. I go to the bathroom and just put my hair in a ponytail as I put on black sunglasses, just to block out my red and puffy eyes. I went downstairs and went out the door. I walked into downtown, and walked down an alley. I could see little balls of orange fire slowly fade in and out.

I walked over to it. There was a group of people my age smoking. I just butt in,

"can I have one?"

They smirked and one of them gave me one and lit it for me.

I took a draft, and coughed a little. It stung a little bit, but also felt relaxing. I smoked some more and finally got used to it. I leaned against a brick wall and thought,

'Heh, a cutter. Now a cutter and a smoker. What a girl I am. I guess this is how my new life begins.'

I thought with a fainted smile.

•••
SORRY IT WASNT SO GOOD
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