Crumbling Climax (Grey Love)

CHAPTER one

‘’ real friends are hard to find; fake friends are easy to lose’’

I had been standing outside the administration offices for thirty minutes with my luggage besides my tired feet. Dusk was slowly approaching as the sun sunk in the curves of the horizon, birds were chipping in the September forest as they returned to their nests.  It had been a long drive from home, and I jumped from one bus to another just to reach my destination, and public transport was literally the worst. It took me a total of fifteen hours to travel from Eastern province to Lusaka, and then four hours from Lusaka to southern province Monze district the location of Cavestone University. Many would wonder why I traveled such a distance alone just to go to a province that I barely knew, and had no relatives in but I had my reasons.

As strange as it may seem Cavestone University was the only school that offered a degree in Environmental health, and after being expelled from the University of Zambia being a health inspector was the only option I had.

I had successfully completed my enrollment and registration procedures; I never thought I would be permitted to register considering my delay, but the odds had been with me because I was. It was a Sunday and I had been lucky to find the Registrar’s office open despite it being a weekend, maybe going to back to university wouldn't be as bad as I anticipated. There was no sign of people coming my way and standing there alone would not do me any good so I decided to walk to the main entrance of the main school building hopping to find somebody who would give me directions or better still help me carry my luggage. A four leaf clover might have flown past me because hardly had I reached the main exit of the administration building when four tall good-looking men walked in, I could tell from their youthful dressing that they were students.

The guys seemed to be in a rush and walked past me but I caught up with one of them, the best looking of them all. He looked different from all the men I had seen, and there was something about him that seemed familiar. He was tall, light in complexion,  would say he was a colored, he had broad masculine shoulders, a muscular body and of course a perfect face. could see peefection past his rude face. With confidence I stopped him, smiling trying to play my charm and hoping he didn’t notice how messy I looked. Just when I excused myself to him he looked at me in a rude way and I could tell from his dressing and attitude that he was one of the high class people who could stop the world from rotating with just one stare. “Excuse me! Hey, sorry to interrupt you but I’m asking for directions to the girl’s hostels.” I had politely said to him.
           
“Just over there!” he said pointing  where three girls had come from, Any girl would crumble to her feet upon seeing him smile,  *if he ever did smile*
his voice so harsh but sensual like that of a fairytale knight. The girls looked at the guy with adoration and flirty looks laughing out loud to get his attention, but he never noticed them. After he rudely showed me the directions, he quickly left and joined his friends who had been weirdly looking at me and probably passing rude comments from the way they laughed.  I had a weird sensation down my spine, and was starting to have second thoughts about returning to school. University life didn’t seem to be as exciting as I had expected, my thoughts were that it wcould be as cool as it looked in movies or as fun as it had been at my former school. Where cute boys were super polite to strange girls they met, and that help was nothing but a kind gesture or an act of humanity.  It seemed like I had raised my bar of expectations to high, and my imagination had gotten the best of me.

The sun was long gone and I could only see its traces in the partially lit horizon in the west, the girls I met on my way didn’t even notice my existence and would walk past me like I was just invisible. I was tired from my long stressful journey from home, no one was being helpful and I felt like crying as I carried my two big bags to the building the rude guy had pointed to. When I reached the hostels I left my bags in the lounge, I found some girls watching TV, but they were too caught up in their moments to even notice me. I looked around the hostel and just didn’t know what to do, lucky for me a girl walked into the lounge from one of the hall ways so I stopped her, “excuse me, hey!’’ I said to her.
She stopped and looked my way, “hey how are you?”  She queried.   She was a slim, coloured , curvy girl with long curly hair. Her big forehead and eyes were easily noticeable and I could tell from her dressing that she was a fashion icon.
I told her I was okay and asked her how she was doing herself, when she told me she was okay I took the opportunity to ask her where room four was.
“Room four is in the block I just came from, which room are you looking for A or B?” she asked really helpful.
“I’m not reeally sure, I was just given this card with the room number on.” I said to her taking the electronic key card out of my purse. I was really worried, but I guessed it was due to the stress and exhaustion I felt from the long day I had.
“I guess this is for room B because room A is fully occupied, I’m actually in room B” she said with a warm smile, “come, and let me take you to the room.”
Without being asked she carried one of my suitcases and I carried the other one as I followed her behind.

When we reached the room, the girl told me to try my key card on the door. I whispered a silent prayer inside my soul as I tried the key card, and as the girl had expected it opened the door. We walked into the room, the friendly girl welcomed me and introduced herself offering me a seat on her bed and a cup of cold juice. “I have been waiting for you for nearly a month now. My name is Angela Chileshe but you can call me Angie, I guess I am your roommate.” She had said with a warm smile. I sighed and smiled back at her and said, “My name is Muwemi Cheelo, but you can call me Muwe or Cheelo, and I’m glad to have you as my roommate.”
Angela was so helpful, she showed me around the room and took me to the toilet and
bathroom. She helped me unpack, spread my bed and settle down and told me stories about her class and that we would meet in most of the courses since she was majoring in nursing and Environmental health and nursing students had some courses in common. She also told me that I would be the only newcomer in the main class for Environmental health students and that I had loads of catching up to do.  She asked me about where I lived and what had made me come to school a month late, and I told her it was a personal story but I would tell her eventually. I knew it was just a lie, I would never open up to anybody about my past not even when somebody put a gun to my head and threatened to pull the trigger. I guess death was twice more worthy than the bitter past that clouded my heart.

Angela told me that she would be back soon, and she walked out of the room. I used her absence to take a cold shower, not that I felt hot but because I wanted to feel the harsh flow of cold water on my body. I just needed something to remind me that my heart wasn’t the coldest organ in my body, and that my soul wasn’t an ocean sinking my demons. I just needed comfort, I needed something to remind me that I still had a bit of life inside my crippled soul. I cried myself to sleep, just like I always did every night of the two years that reminded me of that one night
that changed my whole life forever, that night that I wished was never mine to live.  As I
peacefully clashed into the deep oceans of sleep, where my dreams were like ragging waves, I wondered how the next day would be. Even if my own emotions and my past episodes were eating me up, I knew coming to this university would be a way of healing my heart and an inauguration of a new chapter of good memories.