NOWHERE

Who remembers who they were before the world told them who they are?

There are many things that happen between the day you were born and when you are 20 years old. Lizzie was 20 years old...guess what? you live in circle of running commentary from everyone, and that is all that we believe in, it becomes us. 

In a morning like other, that had even more birds for the morning sunrise, There were running commentary over Lizzie's mum. She has been through a lot and no one would ever understand what she went through. it was so terrible. Her husband left town for another woman, she had to bear with supporting her two kids, and she had to deal with her loneliness. She was that kind of a woman who wanted to live a life that she made by herself. she never hanged with those women who are always organizing the town's community meetups and anniversary. 

Those kinds of women, they have in mind that they have it all.  maybe they have it all, but they have no reason or right to judge everyone who is not like them in a negative way.  From that, everyone in town was talking about how Suzan Evans has never been there for community days. You can just go for a community day, but what is the use if something is shattering down in you? And, there is something that people never get " Nobody knows what is going on with a person"

"Tonnie, Please behave at school!" Her mother said as she was packing his lunch. The tension would get to high between them at any point. It wouldn't be any body's fault, it is a reaction.  his head was facing the window, all that came into his head was how everybody was bulling him about how his family is never part of the community "you should not be part of this community, Ah- you don't belong here!". it was all in his head.

"Mum, I don't want to go to school" his voice was fading as he spoke. He turned his little head towards to her mum as he faced her. Lizzie was descending in her light red t-shirt, blue jeans, and her noisy black-brown shoes. She flipped her hair back and forth, she wrapped herself for a breath and came closer. her walk was so weak because she knew there was a hard time. 

"I heard what he said, Please mum let him have his time," Lizzie said with a look that was straight in her mother's eyes. The question was why would they make it hard for themselves. If ever there is a problem, face it and face it. lizzie was terrified by the community and people around town. Do they have a lot of saying in her life? she has always tried her best to keep it so cool with everyone who was not even her friend. She never had people to call friends around except Nathan... still, she wanted to live for their views. She always forgot what she was, but remembered what people are and what they want from her, and she did that... she was all that people taught her through their actions. Her mother wanted her children to be so strong in whatever they were through. it happened that they were already filled with the community's commentaries. 

Mrs. Evans went closer to her daughter with a rush, she held her in her arms with an inching movement that filled their souls with choke.."Darl-Liz, you know... I am alwa-always here for both of you" and made Lizzie cry on her mother's shoulder.

There were a lot more than  made her cry, her breath was so pressed, tight, and very difficult...after all, she had an occupation to keep in motion, she left after her mother's arms in a very Rushford way as she made herself up with her little make up.. that was on her way to the bookshop-her daily life for days. She fixed everything to fit in the community's path. She grew up that way, she did that a lot of times, and she couldn't recognize what she would have done and herself. 

                                                             It's a Start over or a city of broken hearts&souls

she moved through the crowd of the town, people passing to different destinations. In a morning of a day. some sitting checking their watches as they are waiting for something, other heading to the train station, a very young talented boy playing a simple violin for the crowd that is giving some coins in his flat hat. Other people are whispering to each other, She could see others holding hands with love, others with compassion, others with pity, and with anger.  Tick, tack, tick, tack, it was a busy town where everyone is either driving a car, a bike, and other vehicles. 

Lizzie has never been an observant girl, she always tried to cope with the community, but neither had she had an idea why people there were they way they were, or why she wanted to be like them. In a town of 10,000 people, she only had a family that was trying to fit. There are a lot of things that she had never attended that happened in her town, and she dared to it her home. 

people walking in their make-up, their smiles, their costumes. No one really knows what's happening in their inside.was she the only one with the fitness or insecurities? she was not, and no one will know-

"Hey,..watch your steps silly Jerk" a young man in a turquoise summer shirt that made him look more girlish, he had his hair long and pretty. he told that to an old man, that was one sign of a broken society. 

"Suprrrize!" he said with a lifted mood. His arms were very wide open for his best friend Liz.so his eyes were so gone hidden by the extended cheeks muscles that were up so large. His skin was so smooth from far, his hair's colour was in between black and brown. He was always the same; nothing ever changes on him. his smile, his hairstyle that was probably from a vanity fair magazine. her reaction was so intense, she could have never thought of having him around so soon, and all she could do was running towards him under the fresh air from the tree breeze.

"you hardly gave me almost a heart attack" she whispered into his ears and her heart was racing so hard. And why didn't he at least text that he was coming over? Then he nodded his head and said: "I just wanted to give you a surprise and it worked". Suprise, what was it about her birthday? her first day in college, their friendship anniversary, or was it something from his side.

He held his hands in his pockets with a very unease look " We are coming back to the city, my father just left, and he hardly did not tell us where he was going" he squeezed his hands in his pockets. " that is terrible" she said, and it was so hard to find what to say, their eyes met for a slight second, and she hugged him again. she held his hands, and she opened the bookshop.

"You know, I never thought that life could turn out this way!" he was sitting on the other side of the of her..he was checking the books in a way that was so obvious that he was not checking them...and it was so hard to find what to answer him. Lizzie was living the same kind of life but in a different way. 

"Hey, Nat, I heard about the parade of the Community Foundation is happening tonight,.. we can go there to change ideas," she said with an excited voice which was maybe not the point, she wanted him involved in something to give him a little bit of pleasure. 

"What?, you think I was to go to the community whatever, No .." it was so obvious that he was not okay, and he was a mess..He turned towards her in a mean way.."Go there, it is your community, I don't have any community around!" 

"You are behaving like something, I don't even know what to tell ya!" after all he was acting like a bipolar guy. One minute he was would be totally okay, and another he would be so desperately depressed. he had too much in his mind..." You are coming with me or you die alone!".

she always had motivations to all that she has done, what was the motivation of her courage to the parade. she wanted to start over or to prove soemething to the community...and was it a part of her or what she adapted somewhere?