THE MOON'S REDEMPTION

Part 18

A/N Please allow me a moment to apologize for not responding to your comment for the last two updates, I have not been making proper use of my time as I normally do, I am truly sorry, I will try my best to answer them by the end of today. Thanks for understanding.

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Pha was seating on the sofa in his father's office waiting for him to finish his work so they could go home for the weekend. As he sat there still trying to unravel his feelings he was angry at himself; why could his heart not simply not tell him what it was that he felt? Why did it have to be so damn hard? Was he that emotionally stunted? At first he though he'd been in love with Yo, but if he had to go by what he felt now maybe he'd never been in love before.

Pha surprised himself when he spoke,"Dad," The word still felt foreign to him , but his father enjoyed every time it was said.

"Yes?"

Did he really want to have this conversation with his dad, he had no choice he needed to know, "May I ask you a question?"

"Sure ask me anything." The doctor enjoyed this new relationship he had with his son and in no way was he going to ruin it to go back to the way things use to be.

"How did you know you were in love with mom?"

Dr. Kongthanin smiled, "Actually I didn't know. Your mom and I were part of the same club in our first year of university and before that we were friends in high school, but it was in uni that I began noticing that I had feelings for her." The doctor laughed at the memory, "I started missing her when I did not see her and when we did meet my heart would be doing cartwheels in my chest. When I saw her smiling at any other guy I would get so angry. I didn't understand why that was since I knew her for so long and had never felt that way towards her. when I realised things were getting out of hand I spoke to a friend he said 'Dude how can you not know you're in love with the girl it's pretty obvious' the next day I confessed to her, she told me at the time that she'd liked me since high school but she'd never said anything because I didn't seem interested, and the rest is history."

The father looked at his son from behind his desk for a short moment as he leaned forward, "Who is he?" Pha blushed and smiled shyly, he never thought there would come a day where he would be having this kind of conversation with his father. "Beam I think," was the soft response he gave his dad.

"You think or you know?" the doctor looked at his son carefully. "I keep dreaming about him, I constantly want to be with him and I want him to give me all his attention."

"Do you know how he feels about you?"

"The thing is he says he's loved me for a very long time. It's me who isn't sure. But after talking to you now I know. Thanks dad."

"Have you never been in love before?"

"I thought I was once, but what I feel for Beam cannot compare, this is a hundred times stronger."

"What do you intend to do now?" His dad asked while getting up from behind his desk and coming to seat next to his son. "I'll tell him how I fell I guess."

"Don't guess, if you love him tell him, don't waste time second guessing yourself. I've made you waste too much time hiding who you really are. Go back and tell him today son."

"But I'm suppose to spend the weekend with you and mom."

"I'll explained to your mom she'll understand. Your mom is a romantic at heart despite her tough exterior, don't let that fool you."

Pha leaned and hugged his dad, "Thanks dad.

"Drive carefully," his dad told him as he walked out the door.

"I'll bring Beam over next weekend." Pha said sheepishly.

"That would be nice."

"Bye dad,"Pha said as he rushed out of the office without waiting for his father's response.

As Pha sat in the car driving to Beam's dorm he realized what an ass he'd been. It had been a couple of weeks since Beam had confess to him. they had gone on a couple of dates and spent time together which was nothing unusual since they always spent time together. But Pha had been no closer to unraveling his feelings.

This whole time Pha had kept comparing What he had felt for Yo to what he now felt for Beam. It occurred to him after a while that maybe he'd never truly been in love with Yo. maybe he'd just been infatuated with the boy. Maybe he'd so longed for love at that time that the first person he saw giving love to a creature so small and defenseless pulled at the strings of his heart and he'd mistaken that for love.

Thinking back to that time he realized he'd put Yo on a pedestal , someone to admire and aspire to, but not someone to touch. Even now he could see why he'd placed the boy there, he had a kind heart and did not hold a grudge. He did not seem to live his life looking in the past, but rather he lived in the now. Pha now understood that he should start doing the same. The past was gone and he could never get it back, the future no one knew what it held, the now was all he had. After his talk with his father he knew he loved Beam, that he'd love him for a while now and that he'd just been too afraid to admit it so he'd held on to what he could not have by giving his affection to someone who was unattainable in his eyes.

Pha finally made it to his destination, he pulled into the guess parking area when the vehicle came to a full stop he was amazed at what his introspection had uncovered . No wonder he loved being spoiled by Beam, no wonder whenever he'd seen him leaving with a new conquest there had always been a twinge of envy in his heart, and here he'd thought it was because he'd wished he were able to do the same. Pha humorlessly laughed at himself as he got out of the car.

After getting to Beam's floor Pha lengthened his footsteps so he'd get to the door faster. He knocked on the door and waited, but there came no response he knocked again still nothing. He checked the time it was just a few minutes after 8 PM so maybe Beam had gone to dinner. He took his phone from his pocket and dialed Beam's number it went straight to voice mail. He tried to recall if Beam told him of any special plans for the evening but there was nothing. Then he tried contacting Kit he was not in his room either nor was he answering his phone. Pha was worried but it was still early so he did not freak out.

The young man didn't want to leave just in case his future lover showed up, he did have a spare key for the room but he'd never placed it on his key ring he didn't know why that was so, but it was definitely going on it after tonight.

Pha sat on the floor waiting patiently for his Beam, while earnestly praying that that the boy had not given up on him. Other students who lived on the floor passed by and looked at him weirdly but he did not care. Pha nodded off he woke up to someone tapping his shoulder and calling his name, "Pha, Pha wake up." He was a bit disoriented when he opened his eyes. When he realised who was waking him up his heart leap with joy, "Beam," he intoned "you're back."

"What are doing here? I thought you were going home for the weekend." Pha's eyed were drinking Beam in, they were roving all over Beam face as if he'd never seen the boy before. Beam noticed Pha's behavior, "Come get up, let's get you inside."

Once inside they removed their shoes after which Beam turned on the lights, they moved away from the door and Beam turned to Pha once again, " Pha what's the matter? Why didn't you go home?"

"I needed to talk to you."

"Tell me," Beam whispered as if afraid that the sound of his voice would break whatever trance Pha was in. Pha took a step toward his companion which forced the latter to raise his head so he could continue to look Pha in the face.

'I came because, I wanted to tell you...." He stop for a while taking in more of the young man who stood before him, "Tell me what?" Beam's voice was husky as he now drank Pha in. "I know what I want now, I know what I feel now... Beam I want to be with you, I love you and only you." Tears began to flow from Beam's eyes, he'd waited for so long for those words that he thought that this day would never come. Pha became distraught at Beam's tears, "Baby why are you crying? Please don't cry."

Suddenly Beam threw himself at Pha, he had no idea what to say all he knew was that the person he'd been in love with for so long loved him back, finally.