Ghost of You | safe haven newtmas

the next day

It's a day later when Newt shows up, running again immediately. That was unfair, that was so unfair. He was about to talk to Newt, he was about to actually give him a message, and he disappeared on him.

He finds Thomas in his hut, sitting on his bed, wearing his form of pajamas-a t-shirt and loose sweatpants. It seems late in the day, around six, but he looks like he hasn't gotten up yet. On his desk there are two trays of uneaten food, and Vince is sitting at his chair, facing Thomas.

Thomas looks like a wreck. Bloodshot eyes, red nose, bedhead hair, and a death grip on Newt's necklace. Through everything they went through with WCKD, he's never seen Thomas like this.

"How much did you sleep last night?" Vince asks.

"Enough," Thomas says, giving him a hard stare.

"Are you sure about that?" Vince asks. "What about eating?"

"I told you, I'm not hungry," Thomas says.

"Tommy, I'm here, remember? What's wrong?" Newt asks, sitting down beside Thomas on the bed.

"Thomas I know you went through a lot. We all have. Have you spoken to anyone?" Vince asks.

"About what? Newt? Nobody believes me," Thomas says.

"No, about what you're feeling. It's important to talk," Vince says.

"There's nothing to talk about," Thomas says.

"What about the last seventeen years of your life?" Vince asks.

"Listen, I know you mean well, but I'm fine. I know everyone thinks I'm insane, but I'm not. I'll get back to work tomorrow, okay?" Thomas dismisses him.

Newt puts his hand on Thomas' lower thigh right above his knee, that being the first place he finds. Immediately after, he feels awkward, wondering why that's where he chose, and hopes Thomas doesn't care.

"Thomas-"

Thomas suddenly sits up, looking to his left where Newt is sitting, then back at Vince.

"Yeah, yeah, thank you. Could you give me some privacy?" Thomas rushes his words, a smile forming on his lips.

Vince hesitates, furrowing his eyebrows in concern, but eventually gets up and sighs. "Alright... just-just come to me if you need something, okay?"

"Sure," Thomas says. Vince gives him one last look before finally leaving, Newt using the opportunity to press harder onto Thomas' leg.

He only focuses his energy into a small bit of his hand, trying to distribute it best he can, the effort of that alone being a lot for him. But today, he has to be careful with how much of this he does.

Because today, he's going to try to get Thomas to hear him.

He'd gone over it a few times before in his mind. What will be the first thing he tries? It has to be something short, and something that will let him know who it is. Only one thing makes sense. His last word to him should be his new first, shouldn't it?

"Tommy," Newt tries to direct it into Thomas's brain somehow, as well as through his hand to him. Anywhere he can, he throws the word to him. "Tommy."

"Newt, are you there? Is that you?" Thomas says softly, staring down at his leg with a smile.

"Tommy." Newt persists, repeating the word desperately, causing him to press into his leg harder, feeling it now. It's me, I'm here.

"Newt, if that's you... if I'm not crazy, I need to know," Thomas says.

"Tommy," Newt says loudly, willing Thomas to look at him, hear him. "Tommy."

"I felt you yesterday. When you left, I felt it. Even before the bonfire, I'd felt it. I thought I was imagining things until I saw you," Thomas says.

"Tommy."

"I'm not giving up on you, Newt. I'm not. I just wish I'd..." Thomas trails off.

"Tommy."

"I miss you. I miss your face, I miss your voice. I miss the way you could take any bad situation and make sense of it for me."

"Tommy."

"I miss the little things, too. Like when you'd be woken up and get all grumpy for an hour til Fry would find a way to make you smile, even if you didn't want to. Or like when you'd be thinking and you'd get this frown. And how funny you were, even when you didn't mean to be," Thomas continues, starting to cry now.

"Tommy," Newt feels pain well up inside him, using it to project his voice.

"I feel all of that, I can feel that it's missing. You should be here, you deserve it more than I do," Thomas says. That's not true.

"Tommy," Newt yells.

Thomas jumps, and Newt realizes he'd just squeezed his leg with all of his strength. He must of hurt him, he must have-

"Newt? Newt, I-was that you? Am I hearing things now?" Thomas asks, putting his own hand on his leg where Newt's had been a moment earlier.

"Tommy," Newt repeats it, so happy he could cry.

Thomas blinks, shaking his head. "This... I can't believe this," he breathes, relaxing himself again. "You're here? Next to me?"

"Yes," Newt says, hoping the simple word will work.

Tears are pouring down Thomas' face steadily, but it's a different kind of crying now.

"How much time do you have? A lot?" Thomas asks quickly and desperately.

Newt hadn't realized how weak he feels until just now, having been distracted by the breakthrough. There's so much he wants-needs to tell Tommy. So much he'd never gotten to say, so much he needs to know.

"No," Newt chokes out the word, trying to throw it to Thomas like he had the last time.

"Okay, okay," Thomas rushes, breathing heavily and looking through Newt. "Can you touch my hand?"

Thomas holds up his hand in front of him, and Newt almost smiles at the gesture. He puts his hand against Thomas', trying to focus on it. It doesn't take him long to feel Thomas' skin, and Thomas closes his eyes, breathing out.

"I miss you so much," Thomas says, his speech coming close to a sob now.

"I'm here," Newt says softly, feeling it get to Thomas this time.

Thomas nods, letting out a cross between a cry and a laugh.

"I have so much to say."

Newt is gone again as quick as he came, the words never being able to escape him. I'm sorry.