Ghost of You | safe haven newtmas

two days later

He doesn't come back the next day, but the day after. When he appears next to the rock, he's frustrated, remembering the events of the other day. He let down his friends.

   Newt begins to look for Thomas, trying to push the anger down. Why didn't it work? It's become so easy to reach Thomas, but with Minho it felt impossible. It's not fair, none of it is fair.

   Thomas is sitting in his hut again, and the place looks absolutely trashed. Newt's stunned by the sight, turning his attention to Thomas, who's sitting at his desk chair facing the rest of the room.

   He seems to sense Newt, perking up. Looking around, he drops the necklace from his hand.

   "Newt? Are you there?" Thomas says. "I almost thought you'd gone after Minho, but I could still feel you were here."

   "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't do it," Newt says, walking in front of Thomas.

   "It's so hard, Newt," Thomas says, shaking his head. "I have you but I don't have you. Everyone thinks I'm crazy."

   Newt stops himself from apologizing again, knowing it won't make a difference.

   "Wanna know what I thought of?" Thomas asks. "I don't even have a picture of you. Not a recording, not a photo, nothing. I miss your voice, I miss your smile, Newt, I miss you."

   "You have me," Newt says, upset at Thomas' words.

   "And wanna know what bothers me the most?" Thomas says. "We didn't even have a chance."

   "What do you mean?" Newt asks, kneeling down in front of the boy.

   "We were so busy saving everyone, I didn't get the chance to..." Thomas trails off. "The other night. You staying with me, we never got that. You never got the chance to get close to people the way you should have. You never got to see what else there is besides fighting for your life every second of every day."

   Newt feels something welling up inside him with every word that spills out of Thomas. It hurts. It hurts so bad he can feel energy draining from him as he takes in the sad truth of it all.

   "Did anyone ever even tell you they loved you?" Thomas asks, his voice breaking and turning into a whisper.

   Newt shakes his head. He hadn't even thought of that.

   "I loved-I love you, Newt. Please, just... know that, okay?" Thomas says, closing his eyes.

   What happens to Newt following Thomas' words, the feeling and power that washes over him and surges through him, can't begin to be explained. It's foreign and familiar all at once and suddenly parts of him feel whole again. He puts a hand on Thomas' knee and isn't even shocked when Thomas opens his eyes and looks down at it.

   Then to him.

   "I do love you too, Tommy," Newt doesn't rush the words, letting himself hear them clearly, taking them in. He nods, a smile spreading onto his face. "I do."

   Thomas doesn't let his shock last long, pushing his chair out of the way and kneeling down in front of Newt.

   "Newt, I miss you so much," Thomas says, his eyes glistening.

   "I'm here, yeah?" Newt says, nodding. He takes Thomas' face in his hands, not thinking twice about it. "You're not a bloody lunatic."

   Thomas hugs him tightly, Newt wrapping his arms around his best friend and hugging back, feeling how shaky Thomas is. It's all happening too fast, so he tries to take it in. They're together again.