You and I, Forevermore...

I'm Sorry

Seeing Nate kissed my own supposed best friend, Vanessa in the parking lot just because I screwed up so bad wasn't exactly my cup of tea. 

If only I wasn't trying so hard to fit in with those girls at Constance, if only I just listened to myself, things would have been different. The look on Nate's face when he found out I was the one doing this to Vanessa was unbearable, the things he said to me were even worse. 

Now here I was.. Lying on my bed, wishing I had done things differently, how pathetic could I be? It was a Sunday morning though, just a day after that night, and I still hadn't told anyone about Nate and I. 

"Jen, we're going to go out to eat soon, you coming?" Dan chimed in, barging in to my bedroom's door, peeking in. 

I looked up, sighing, "No. Leave me alone, I'm not hungry." I replied, boringly, wanting to give up so bad on everything. What was there to fix if I screwed up? 

My answer obviously raised suspicion from Dan that he, opened the door even wider to let himself in. He sat next to me on the bed, looking down on me, patting me on the shoulder, comforting me. "What's wrong, Jen?" He raised his brows. 

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong, okay, just leave me alone." I shot at him, throwing him daggers with my eyes. 

"No, I'm not leaving this room until you tell me what's wrong. Come on, Jen, would you rather telling dad or me?" He retorted, leaving me no choice but to sit upright to tell him the truth. 

I closed my eyes for a moment, finding an easier way to spill without making myself look like the bad guy. He was Vanessa's best friend after all, and I had no idea if he was going to defend his little sister or best friend. "Nate hates me." I revealed. 

He gave me a weird look, confused. "What, what do you mean? Why would he hate you?" He inquired. 

"Weren't you at the snowflake ball last night?" I lashed out at him, refusing to give details just because I was still hurt and blamed for the situation. "Oh wait, you were too caught up on Serena that you didn't even know what was going on with your little sister." I continued for him. 

"I'm trying here, Jen." He pleaded, giving me his puppy dog face whenever he was persistent on digging someone else's life. 

"Just forget it okay? Just go tell dad that Eric is coming over later and that's why I can't go with you guys." I finally demanded. 

He seemed unsure to leave me at first but got up anyway. Then he was out of the door, leaving me. I quickly grabbed my phone to text Eric to come over as soon as possible saying that it was life and death situation. Knowing him, he'd definitely accept any of my offers. 

Opening my laptop while waiting for Eric to arrive at my door already, I looked up "how to apologize when you have done a very bad thing" on Google but of course none of the answers fulfilled my needs. I sighed and ended up going on YouTube to watch something funny, something that would help me forget about everything gone wrong in the span of 24 hours. 

Suddenly, I didn't know if it was the universe hating on me but I ended up watching a heartbreaking video that popped up in my recommendation. Great. And just in time as Eric, unexpectedly, showed up at my door, catching me with tears all over my face. 

"Um, Jenny?" He scratched the back of his head, lowly, but loud enough to make me look up at him. 

I quickly wiped the tears off of my face and put on a smiling face to hide whatever sadness was boiling inside of me. "Eric! Finally, you're missing this very good romantic comedy I found recently." I lied, still putting on a fake a smile.