Deep [Book One]

Ten - You

"Wish you would just focus on me..."

Erik

I follow closely behind her. Wanting to catch her scent. Kehzia had me feeling things i haven't with any other female. I was thinking things I've never thought of before. This all happened so quickly and it scared the shit out of me. I would rather go to war again than face my feelings because i knew the kind of guy i am. Could i really not hurt her? It was more about the damage i could do to her than my own feelings getting hurt because up until now, i never had any. I used to just fuck because i would get chicks pussy pretty easily.

I mean growing up wasn't always that easy. Girls went for the guys with the latest fit. Guys who they knew had money. I was piss poor. I had nothing to my name but hand me downs that i collected over the years of moving from one family to another. But after enlisting and heading to college i became that guy. Now as much as money never impressed me much, it  did the people around me. I tried to not let it change me and kept myself humble as possible but it was difficult when all i had to do was smile and I'd have pussy handed to me on a silver platter. I was ok with all this but my focus was never really getting caught up with some chick. I didn't do commitment and i didn't even date some of these broads. I would merely indulge and move on but some of them caught feelings and they would blame their pain on me...meeting Kehzia made  me realize I did play a part in their pain.

The hardest thing was always seeing a chick broken because of me. I couldn't stand to see anyone cry and all the tears I've seen, all the hearts I've broken i knew one thing for certain is that i never wanted to put this girl through all that but i also didn't want her to hurt me because everyone i love and cared for somehow ends up leaving me. This was the first time in a long time i cared enough to even get afraid of what might happen.

I don't know how it happened but she crept into a place that had been vacant for a while now. As much as Kehzia was beautiful it went deeper than that. She had an innocence to her that made me want to teach her a few things. Her mind was something i admired as well and she more than proved to me that she wasn't afraid of the big bad wolf facade i wanted to keep up. All i really was certain about now was that for as long as she wants me, I'll be here. On my best behavior. I wanted to be better just for her. I wanted to open up and heal myself from past pain just so i could be a better man for her. I wasn't sure of where this would go but i just wanted to try for the first time in my life I wanted to care for another because i was depriving myself for a very long time.