Deep [Book One]

Sixteen

"An outer body experience. A spirit party."

"Kehzia!"

"Kehzia!"

"Keyz! Come out here!"

I sat at the window watching Jason have one of his tantrums. He probably called my name ten times in the last minute all while blowing up my phone. I see the device light up again. I had to place it on silent or I was going to throw it against the wall. Seventh missed call in the last five minutes of him being parked outside the gate, screaming for me to come outside and face him. This time only God knew why.

Jason and I broke up a month ago but he was still coming at me like this everytime he felt like it. The fact that he  was once again "triggered" by whatever this time and he made it a point to make me the punching bag for his emotional rage. He figured the way to make himself feel better about his erratic behavior was to blame me for triggering him. He had diagnosed himself with bipolar disorder in hopes of finding a reason for his behavior but the truth was that he was jealous and possessive. He was a  narcissistic asshole who just couldn't accept his faults.

The fact that he was making such a noise, scared me but luckily no one was here to witness this. He didn't know that, so him being here showed how he didn't care if my parents were at home. He was going to continue to do whatever he wanted. My father spoke to his dad about his behavior and his father gave my dad permission to handle the situation how he saw fit. His parents were at their wits end trying to deal with Jason but they didn't know what to do anymore. However, no matter how gentle my dad was with Jason, it didn't help. My dad didn't want to be violent or strict because he was concerned about that having more of a negative impact on Jason. As a young black man, my father thought showing him compassion would work but nothing seemed to work. My dad started shifting his focus to me when he saw that I was starting to retreat. He made sure I was protected and ok. Jason was no longer to have access to this house. The gate was locked at all times now and only a few of us had a key. Surveillance was added to the outside near the gate so my father would know what was happening at all times but trust none of those things ever stopped him from parking his car outside and making such a noise that at times the neighbors would look at us crazy the next morning. It was embarrassing but it killed me deep down inside, mostly.

This was his tenth time this past month, coming to the house and causing trouble. I have threatened to call the police, It didn't work. One night I actually called and he left before they arrived. I knew the same would happen if I do call again. This broke me, my mind was numb, my spirit was numb. I grabbed my phone and walked downstairs, standing in front of the door about to head outside so he could get his way once again. I felt like a prisoner. How he had me trapped behind my own gates. Entertaining his bullshit was the only way I was going to get rid of him and that was a huge reason why I felt so depressed because there was no way out. Opening the door, I step outside and my phone rings again. He drops the call once he sees me approach the locked gate.