Bittersweet Endings

Chapter Sixteen

We sat like that by the fire for what must have been hours, not saying a word. Despite the fact we weren't talking, everything was just right. When I finally turned and looked around I realized that the candles were still burning, and getting rather low. Not wanting to set the place on fire I shifted in his arms. He looked at me questioningly I just muttered the candles and as if realizing what I was going to do he released me. As much as I didn't want to I stood up, and started blowing out all the candles. The entire time I could feel Jesse's gaze on my back. Normally someone staring at me would annoy me to no end, but tonight I actually didn't mind.

Once I had blown all the candles out, I went back to the spot by the fire only to discover Jesse gone. Not really worried about where he went, I went to sit down again, although I was stopped. Turning to look at where Jesse's voice had come from, I was trying to figure out why he wouldn't let me sit down. It was so comfortable on that rug. He walked over to me, and smiled. My body instantly took over and smiled back, closing the small distance between us I wrapped my arms around his body and pulled myself close. A few seconds later I felt his arms wrap around me too. Random thing to notice but he smelt really good. We were standing like that for a few minutes before he spoke up.

"I have something to tell you." He said.

Pulling away slightly I looked into his eyes hoping that would give something away but they didn't.

"Okay." I replied, somewhat hesitantly.

He pulled away until we were standing a little way apart but he still had hold of my hands. Smiling at him I really hoped this wasn't bad.

"You know I've always loved you for as long as I can remember, and at times I tried to deny it but that only made me love you more. You were different from all the other girls that came into the gym or to the fights. You weren't interested in getting in my pants. But I knew like myself you had your demons and I didnt want to be the one to bring you down anymore. At first i had to work on myself and get myself to a good place. I know that I'm not exactly where I wanted to be but i couldnt hold back any longer not after everything that has happened. I had to tell you now. I'm not going to push you into anything you're not ready for but I wanted you to know how I feel."

I wasnt entirely sure what he was going to say and if I was to be honest this wasnt it. I was happy though because deep down I always knew I cared about him more then the others, theres always been something between us we were both just too scared to say anything. Bringing myself back to reality I realised Jesse was waiting for me to respond. He looked nervous. 

"Like I said before I may not be ready to say the L word but I do like you a lot and I do really want to see where this takes us. I know that it might be slower then normal but I hope you can bare with me" I replied.

He pulled me close wrapping his arms around me, neither of us needed anymore words. We knew that this wasn't going to be like a normal relationship that we both had our demons but we were in it together. I pulled my head back and rested it on his forehead. Then I did something that neither of was expecting. I leaned in and captured his lips with my own. He readily kissed me back.

Nothing could ruin this moment. Wrapping my arms around his neck I pulled myself closer to him, before sliding my tongue across his bottom lip begging for entrance which he happily gave me. Trying to pull myself even closer I deepened the kiss exploring every part of his mouth with my tongue. Pulling away slightly he rested his forehead against my own as we slowly gathered our breathing again.

I cant say I didn't enjoy kissing him, because that would be a lie. Although I didn't expect that I would be at the end of the night. I guess for once everything was just meant to go in a good direction. How long it would last I didn't know, but I was going to take it for as long as I got it, and then wait it out till things got good again.

As our breathing steadied I once again kissed him, this time it was slow and soft. Not pushing each other. And I liked it. It didn't last as long, but I was happy I didn't need to be kissing him, I was content just sitting in his arms. Resting my head on his shoulder I buried my head into his neck, and softly breathed in his scent. It was yummy. I really didn't want to move I was happy right where I was although I could feel myself getting tired, and knew that soon I would be wanting a nice comfy bed to lay in. As if reading my mind, i felt Jesse shift his weight.

I felt him lean back slightly although I was reluctant to move away from him. Giving in I leant back to look into his eyes. I was getting lost in them before he finally decided to speak. Asking if I was ready for bed I nodded and slowly stood up. I had no idea which way to the bedroom. I took a hold of Jesse's hand and followed him to the bedroom.

We made it to the bedroom, and there was candles all around the room, although these one's hadn't been lit. I guess that was he's back up plan. I couldn't help but smile more, he thinks of everything. I guess this was just as special and what not to him as to it is to me. Which gives me a happy thought.

I walked over to the bag I had packed and pulled out a singlet and trackpants. Noticing that his bag was also there I carefully slid it open and pulled out one of his tshirts without him noticing. Bundling the clothes together I entered the bathroom. Shutting and locking the door behind me, I looked into the mirror, to see this smiling girl. This shocked me, I hadn't seen myself so happy in a long time.

I pulled my clothes off and slipped the t-shirt and boxers on. The shirt smelled just like Jesse. Which made me smile. I left my clothes in a small pile on the floor. As I walked out of the bathroom I saw Jesse smile but he didn't say anything, realistically he should be used to me stealing his clothes all the time.

He was already changed into something more comfortable. I wasn't sure what Jesse had planned for sleeping arrangements but I didn't want to sleep on my own. Everything that had happened over the past few days was still raw and I knew if he left me in here I'd lay awake over analysing everything.

"You take the bed, I'm going to crash on the couch." He said wrapping his arms around me.

"Please stay with me. I can't give you anything more than sleeping but I don't want to be on my own." I whispered.

No more words were needed. He moved us over to the bed and pulled the blankets down. I climbed in and shuffled over rolling so that I was facing the wall. Before long I felt Jesse moving closer, reaching over and wrapping his arms around my waist. I wriggled backwards into his chest. Getting comfy, I tilted my head to look up into his eyes. Smiling at him, I whispered a good night. Moving my head back into a comfortable position, I closed my eyes to drift off to sleep. The last thing I heard before sinking into unconsciousness was Jesse whispering that he loved me before tightening his grip on me. Making me feel even safer.

I woke the next morning to Jesse's arms still securely wrapped around me, and the sun shining through the window. Laying there I realized how much life has changed and how much its going to continue to change now. For once this change is for the better.

I felt the bed move slightly and looked over my shoulder to see Jesse waking up. I smiled a small smile at him, before going back to my comfortable position.

"Good morning little one." He whispered in my ear.

"Good morning." I said back.

I knew that any moment now he was going to move, that he would get up to go to the toilet. Which in reality wasn't a bad idea but I didn't want to get up yet. I wanted to stay here wrapped in his arms. Unfortunately you cant always get what you want. I felt the bed move more, and heard his the sound of his feet as he crossed the room to the bathroom. I snuggled deeper into the warm blankets. I must have been dozing off as I didn't hear Jesse leave the bathroom, and climb back onto the bed, that was until he wrapped his arms around me pulling me closer to him.

I couldn't help but sigh softly for some reason my body really enjoyed been close to Jesse's. I rolled over so I was now facing Jesse and buried my head in his chest, wrapping my arms around him so he couldn't go anywhere. Enhaling his scent I had complete zoned out and didn't hear that he was talking to me.

"Huh?" I said.

"I was just saying how about I go cook some breakfast for us, while you have a shower or whatever it is you do of a morning, and then we can head home." He told me laughing slightly.

Had I still been living at home I would have been hesitant about going back but now that I had my own place surrounded by the people that I care about I didn't care. I'd be able to hang out with the guys and if I needed any of them they were right across or down the hall. I nodded my head and hesitantly let him go, seeing him grinning. I guess he was enjoying it to.

"Don't you want something to eat." He asked.

And as if on cue my traitor of a stomach grumbled demanding food. I looked up at him sheepishly and smiled. Trying to get him to ignore it. He just laughed and got up walking into the kitchen. Looking over at the bedside table I realized it was almost. Getting up I walked over to my bag to grab out some clean clothes and then checked Jesse's to see what else he had I could steal and wear today. I opened the bag and pulled out mu favourite hoodie of his. Walking over to the bathroom, I shut and locked the door behind me. Having a quick shower I got out dried off and got dressed. When I was finished doing everything I needed I went to find Jesse.

Walking into the kitchen I could smell bacon and eggs cooking, and man did it smell good. Sneaking up behind him I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him. He moved his arm so I was now hugging his side. Leaning into his side, I couldn't wait for the food to be ready. I looked up at him and smiled before telling him that his food smelt delicious.

"You smell delicious, and look awfully good in my clothes." He whispered in my ear.

Given that we said we wouldn't rush things and we'd take each day as it come we were fitting into an easy routine. Everything felt natural with him, I didn't feel pressured I was just following my heart for once. I knew to some it would seem that it was rushing along but we both knew we had limits and we'd stop each other if we reached them. Having feelings for each other for so long without saying anything kind of meant we had some catching up to do.

He l brought his lips to mine. I kissed him back, my hands soon made their way around his neck, deepening the kiss even more. It didn't last for long but that's what happens when you start kissing someone who is making food. He grabbed a couple of plates and started dishing up. I found the knives and forks and set the table, whether he wanted to sit there or not he was going to. He brought the plates over and we sat down, and started to eat.

Neither of us said a word as we ate, both just enjoying each other's company. Once we were finished I grabbed his plate and went over to the sink, and filled it up before I started doing the dishes, deciding I would get them out of the way. I was almost done when I felt two arms wrap around my waist and a head rest on my shoulder.

"You know I could have done that." Jesse said to me.

"I know but you cooked." I told him.

"Fair enough, what will we do after this?" He asked.

"Well we might as well get our things together and head back, now that I have my own place it doesn't seem so bad and then we have the rest of the night to do what we want?" I replied.

"Sounds good. I'll go grab everything while you finish up" He asked.

I finished the dishes and left them in the rack to dry.  I walked into the lounge room to find Jesse ready to go. We locked the house behind us and made our way back. Pulling into the carpark we realised everyone was out, Jesse told me to drop my things off and then head over to his place to watch a movie. 

I quickly dropped my bag off, freshened up in the bathroom. Then I grabbed some snacks and drinks heading to Jesse's. As I opened the door i found it all set up with cushions, a blanket and everything. It was starting to get cold. Winter was almost upon us. I went and sat next to him on the lounge pulling the blanket around me. I snuggled close into Jesse's side, laying my head on his shoulder. He pulled me closer to him before hitting play on the movie.

I wasn't sure what the movie was called, something I hadnt seen. It didn't worry me, I didn't bother asking what it was called. I was just happy. Half way through the movie I could feel my eyes starting to droop, and I don't know why I had the best nights sleep last night. Not wanting to fall asleep I tried to force my eyes open although that just made it worse. So I give in to my tired feeling and feel asleep on Jesse's shoulder.

I'm not sure how long later it was but I could feel myself moving. I didn't remember waking up or moving. I opened my eyes slightly and came face to face with a chest, moving my sight up further I saw Jesse's face. I stirred slightly letting him know I was somewhat awake and it was ok for him to put me down. Instead he just shh'd me and told me to go back to sleep. I really didn't want to listen to him, but my body had other ideas. Once we got to his bedroom he pulled back the covers and slid me into bed. He pulled the blanket up over me to keep me warm and then went to leave the room.

He was at the door when I somehow managed to mutter out 'stay'. I wasn't sure if her heard me or not, but when I felt the bed sink I realized he did. I rolled over and snuggled into his side. There was no reason other then the simple fact I didn't want to be away from him as to why I asked him to stay. I felt his hand start running through my hair relaxing me even more.