RENDEZVOUS

21 | exam season

exam season had officially begun. the transparent pencil cases and last minute flash cards were out, and the group of exam-sitters were buzzing with nerves.

jaemin had been almost silent the entire car ride to school, chewing on his lower lip to distract himself from the impending doom of failure. taeyong eyed him with concern, glancing over the pink dashboard and turning the volume down on whatever troye sivan song had come on at that moment.

(taeyong subconsciously noticed it happened to be bloom.)

"hey, mini jae," taeyong began, gathering all the limited wisdom he could provide, being a college dropout himself.

"how come jaehyun couldn't drop me off?" jaemin interrupted. the nerves made him sound snappier than he should've been. "he said he'd drive me for my first exam..."

taeyong kept his eyes focused on the road, a dozen thoughts racing through his mind a hundred miles an hour. then he let out a soft sigh. "he had to drive yerim into college," he said quietly.

"doesn't she have a bus pass?"

"...yeah."

they didn't talk much after that, both too lost in their own thoughts. taeyong turned troye up a little louder to drown out the never-ending stream of mixed feelings in his brain: love, and guilt, and shame. jaemin tried desperately to remember the differences between mitosis and meiosis, yet couldn't stop thinking about how steep the grade boundaries could be, and the disappointment he'd feel opening that envelope on results day.

"taeyong-hyung?"

"mhm?" taeyong blinked, trying to stop the colour rising to his cheeks.

"you, uh... you missed the turning," jaemin told him. he was even more panicked now. what if he missed the exam altogether? what if-?

taeyong made a very sharp, slightly illegal, U-turn and sped back towards the school, parking in the first spot he could find. "i'm sorry, jae," he sighed, offering the younger boy a smile and ruffling his hair, "look, before you go, trust me on this one, okay? everything's gonna be fine and you're gonna smash it. i promise."

and the sincerity in taeyong's eyes meant a million times more than any of nancy's throwaway compliments about jaemin's intelligence.

you're good at everything anyway, you don't need to worry.

"thanks, hyung," jaemin said, pulling on a grateful smile before getting out and hurrying towards the exam hall.

it was a bizarre sight as he glanced over the others outside the hall. jeno was standing around staring into space while renjun was sitting on the floor digging his water bottle out of his bag, and donghyuck was nowhere to be seen. all of this washed over jaemin's head, however, as he caught sight of nancy.

"jaemin," she said sharply as she saw him. the rest of her sentence starting forming itself in jaemin's head like the numbers on a lottery ticket.

do you wanna go out with me after this?

i only asked you to tutor me because i like you so much, you know.

i needed to tell you how much you mean to me...

none of the above.

"i need your flash cards," nancy said, holding out a hand expectantly. she was starting to sound panicked now, with the biology exam only minutes away.

"uh, sure," jaemin mumbled, happy to help but disappointed. he started fishing through his bag for the flashcards, only to find he hadn't even brought them.