garbage

why I will most likely never post a face reveal

Since all of my friends have done some sort of face reveal, here's why I won't do it

1. I'm incredibly self concious of my looks.
I hate my face, my teeth, my arms, my legs, fuck I even hate my feet cause I have long toes. I have scars all over because I can't stop picking at scabs, I have scars from past self harming, I have a few marks on my palm that are from the other day when I was digging into my hand with my nails. I hate my body as much as I can and it sucks.

2. I'm scared of what people will say.
I'm scared they'll tell me I'm unoriginal. I'm scared they'll tell me I can't make a character because they're all based on me, I'm scared of what they'll say about my clothes, my room, my bed. Everything. I act all edgy and shit, but my room is a bright blue, I have hot pink curtains, a bed covered with stuffed animals. I'm the exact opposite of my room.

3. Compliments.
I absolutely hate getting complimented on my looks. It feels like they're forcing themselves to say it. Look at someone's face reveal and look in the comments and I fucking bet you that there isn't a single hate comment. Everyone tells the person that they look awesome. To me, it feels fake. And it hurts because if I tell one of my friends this, they'll begin to believe that I'm lying. I fucking swear on my life that you guys are beautiful! -justlilly, biggest-of-oofs, Meg-Rose-25, and others, you girls are absolutely stunning! Meanwhile I'm facing acne, eye bags, puffy, untangled hair, crooked teeth. It sucks.

4. My friends might think differently of me.
I know, none of you would do that because you aren't dicks. But it lingers in the back of my mind that maybe if I show my ugly face, you won't want to talk to me because you know what's on the other side of the screen. You know what train wreck you're talking to. I'd rather you just saw the cartoonish me, the nice looking one.

5. The pressure that I am on the internet.
The idea that whenever people want, they can use my image to look at, and they can ask me for more if they wanted to. People can use my image and frame me for things. Just spiraling into madness...

6. People might doubt me for what goes on in my head.
My parents constantly doubt that I am insane and psychopathic because I'm "pretty" and "nice". I'm neither of those things and if people saw me the way my parents did, they might doubt I'm crazy too. They'd doubt I am suicidal, depressed, anxious, everything.

So yeah
Later