Betrayed , be loved - phan

F o u r

Phils POV
Saturday, the day is bleak and is full of unforeseen adventures. Today's gonna be long . I'm going out with PJ, Dan, Chris at 1 pm so I've got the start of the morning with my mum.

I lay motionless, staring at the tiny crack forming on my ceiling. I wonder how big it will get, will the whole roof just fall down under the pressure it's holding. Or will it just crack and get repaired or covered up. I think about leaving the house so often to escape the begging of the torment and come back when it's not as bad. My dads out at work unfortunately so I have no one to go to if anything bad happens. It's 7:17 why am I up this Early on a weekend, even though I went to sleep around 2:30 am. I don't get it. Surely my body must be tired enough to make me go back to sleep. But no too many things are on my mind. I pick up my phone to look at the messages I haven't received yet as PJ is not up yet. Typical. Scroll through Instagram looking at the stereotypical pictures of girls. And the odd actually nice one of real people.

*

9:30 am this is when I decide to get up as I can't lay around much longer avoiding the loud door slamming of my mum trying to get me up. I place one foot on the ground before I hear her literally coming up the stairs. Probably to start my day off bad. When I hear her walk past my bedroom and go to the toilet. My heartbeat slows down a little. I was scared of her sometimes and today was one of them days. I managed To get out of bed and chuck a t-shirt on that I had worn a couple of days ago, although I found out it had random marks on so I decided to change it. I called my mum to see if she had seen my black top and she said no. "Check the basket " "it's not in there, I look in the wash basket" "no Phil, that's dirty you scruffy minx" I still went in the basket and retrieved it. I told her I'm putting it on only for her to say "why are you acting like this put something colourful on you have loads of t-shirts I'm not going out if your acting like that" I was angry and annoyed by now and she had already set my day off bad. I wanted to have fun but suppose she just wanted to ruin it. "I've not even done anything !" I shout before going to my room to change into my top.

Shopping with my mum was painful as I had to spend at least an hour with her alone, and she would just get on at me for the littlest of things, like for not putting something in the trolley. I was talking to my dad the day before about what I needed for school because I thought me and my dad were gonna go. I didn't even dare tell my mum what I needed, I would have rather gone without. We had finally got to the checkout where I had barely said anything the whole trip in case I said something wrong and then I'd get extremely told off when I got home. We'd packed everything and headed out and " oh Phil you've made me forgot the oranges, that's your fault" I don't think she intended it to hurt me as much as it did. When was it ever not my fault? I didn't say anything cause I would get moaned at for back chatting but because I didn't say anything she had a go at me because I wasn't paying attention and ignoring her.

Finally, we were in the car and only the quiet hum of the engine and barely audio able radio broke the silence . " what's wrong Phil you've hardly said anything?" I sigh as she asks me and she pretends that everything's okay when it's not. "Everything's fine mum" she keeps looking at me "is it pj or Chris have they done something" she was protective but sometimes overprotective, sometimes I don't think she gets how much her words hurt . " no they haven't done anything" "then what's wrong ?" I prepare myself to be ignored or shouted at for the rest of the car ride. . "I'm just sick of you having a go at me all the time when I just try to help". I knew it was a mistake saying that but like my best friend said stick up for yourself and brave the people who hate. She lashes out at me saying I'm the one who's being miserable and mardy. Maybe one day she'll meet herself.

Finally we arrive home , we both had said nothing for the rest of the car journey . I took the shopping out of the boot and put it on the door step waiting for her to come and open the door . After a few mins she came . With a look indescribable, it was like she had just seen someone kill her dog mixed with a little bit of anger and resentment. It honestly scared me . As soon as I got in I put the shopping away while she went upstairs. Probably to sware at me under her breath . The sooner I put the shopping away the sooner I could leave to sit in my room and be at peace with myself and not have to come out till 1 pm when PJ was gonna meet me. I was hoping I don't have to come home tonight and someone suggests we have a sleepover I wanted to get away from this house. Without my dad, I was all alone.

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Hi , I'm going to post another chapt in about 2-6 hrs ~ peppa