Babysitter (Macklemore Fanfiction)

Reunion

My confidence is extremely low as I step off of the plane. The bright idea of getting completely off of my face for a full week seemed much better at the time. On the plane I was shaking so much that one of the flight attendents asked me if I needed medical support.

Okay, getting that fucked up was really not a good idea.

I go through the gate and catch sight of Ryan. Without Ben. He didn't even have the audacity to pick up his own daughter.

"Hey." I smile,

"Hey..." Ryan replies, hugging me.

"Where is he?" I ask, bluntly.

"At the hotel... He wasn't feeling great." He mumbles,

"Don't make excuses for him Ryan." I sigh. He purses his lips.

"He really cares about you. What you've been doing the past week's fucked him up... He's been so worried." Ryan says, "He's been seeing your snapchats off of my phone." He tells me.

"Listen, I'm going to sort everything out. Tonight. I promise." I tell him.

I throw my bags into my hotel room and knock on Ben's door. Ryan took Sloane back to his room so that I could have a while alone with Ben to set things straight.

"Where's Sloane?" Ben asks, opening the door.

"Like you really give a fuck." I state, angrily as I push past him and walk into his room. "Really Ben? You're that stubborn that you won't even pick your own daughter up?" I snap. He looks at me sadly. "She's with Ryan. We need to talk." I insist.

"Maybe another night, I-"

"No, Ben. Tonight. Shut the door. Please." I say. He does as I say before sitting on his bed.

"What do you want to talk about?" He asks.

"I have had an extremely fucked up week, okay? I have taken so many drugs, I don't even remember half of their names. I've drunk so much this week that it's surprising that I don't have liver disease. I've puked so many times I can't even count. I spent the week as a reckless teenager, trying to get as high as I fucking can so that I don't have to consider how I would feel if you won't forgive me for what I said. The truth is; I really fucking love you, Ben. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Knowing that I hurt you, and then you treating me like shit is the hardest, most intense pain I've felt in my entire life. And trust me, I've had a lot of it. The way you make me feel is incredible. Even when our hands brush together I feel like the butterflies in my stomach are going to kill me. And yes, I get that I did not handle it as well as I could have, but I spent the week being dangerously drugged not just because I needed to forget you for a little while, but also because that was the week that I needed to spend as a crazy, careless kid... So that I could wake up today and accept that I'm an adult now. I'm more than ready to commit to you Ben and I need to know if you feel the same way. If you don't feel the same way, than okay. But you have to tell me now because I refuse to go home next week and top myself on alcohol and drugs again just so that I can numb the empty burning hole in my chest that I have when I'm not with you. I'm ready to be a mature adult, and I can't stay here and do that if you don't feel anything but bitterness towards me. It's breaking me Ben, and it's exhausting." I finish. He's silent, as tears fall down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry..." He cries, "I've been such a cunt to you. This whole week I've done nothing but wish you were here and worry about the fact that you could be drugged up somewhere getting raped. Do you have any idea how sick that makes me?" He questions, "Amy, I've had feelings for you since the moment I saw you. They've only gotten stronger since then. I hate it when you're not here. It's terrifying. I thought I loved Tricia, and it was scary when I started falling for you because the feelings I had were already so much more intense than anything I've felt before. I love you. I love you, too. Please, please don't quit. I need you." He says. I feel tears dripping down my own cheeks. My body slams against his and I wrap my arms around his neck. "I love you, so, so much." He repeats.