shy ; l.hemmings

huit

-the day before the presentations-

i walk inside the school with kassandra. she tells me how nervous she is for her speech tomorrow. i tell her she’ll be fine and if anyone should be worried, it should be me. 

 luke hasn't been talking to me ever since the incident in the cafeteria. it’s not like i wanted to speak to that jerk anyways. lots of people like to make fun of me now for my glasses. i’m glad i have the guys and kassandra to be there for me.

 i wave kassandra goodbye as we both walk into our class. 

 i sigh as i sit down on my seat. i look down and cant help but wonder what will happen tomorrow.

~ .

 “are you sure you don’t want to go to ashton’s house to practice your presentation tomorrow?” michael asks. it’s after school now and our group of friends is practicing their presentations at ashton’s. i shake my head no. i didn’t feel like singing this song without luke. it felt wrong to, but he and i wrote that together. i thought it was really special for us.

 i tell them goodbye as i walk away from the group and start walking out of the school. i take a deep breath and walk towards the little park across the street.

 i sit on one of the swings and take my phone out. i start to scroll through my twitter dashboard when i hear footsteps walking towards me. i look up from my phone and i bite my lip.

 “didn’t expect to see you here, glasses.” nick tells me grinning. next to him is just luke and louis. louis laughs a little looking at me, and luke just stares at the floor.

 “what do you want?” i ask him quietly. my cheeks turn pink when i realize how quiet i sounded.

 “whats that? you have none of your “friends” to defend you, huh?” nick moves closer to me and touches my hair. i swat his hand away and come off the swing seat. i start walking away from him, but he grabs my body and wraps his arms around me. i scream and try to get out of his grasp.

 “shut up!” he yells. i take shaky breaths in as he drags me towards the woods behind the park. the woods is basically just full of trees and dirt, but it scares the crap out of me.

 once we’re out of sight from the little park, they all stop walking and nick turns to louis.

 “what should we do to her?” nick asks him. louis takes a minute to think before grinning widely.

“maybe one of us could have a little fun with her, eh?” louis suggests. my eyes widen. i am about to scream, but nick covers my mouth.

 “shut the fuck up or something worse will happen to you.” he growls to me. my eyes start to water. i look at luke. he unemotionally stands there looking at nick.

 “who should it be?” louis asks, grinning. he looks at me and winks. i blink and try to take deep breaths.

 “luke. take her.” nick clearly says. nick takes his hand off of my mouth and pushes me towards luke. i lose my balance and i start to fall in his direction. he immediately catches me right before i hit the ground. he is on his knees holding me. i start to take heavier breaths while looking at the ground. it takes so much not to start sobbing my eyes out right now.

 “we’ll be back in an hour luke. if i don’t see that you've done nothing to her when i get back, you're dead.” nick says. he starts to walk out of the woods and louis winks towards luke’s direction and walks with nick.

 i don’t want to meet luke’s eyes. i pull away from him and sit on the ground looking at the trees.

“do whatever you want with me, luke. i honestly dont care anymore.” i say to him. my throat feels dry as i think about what luke would do to me.

 i feel or hear nothing coming from luke.

 “luke just fucking do it! i-“ i feel tears escaping my eyes. i look down and start to cry silently. 

 i cry for a few minutes before i angrily turn to luke. he looks at me with sad eyes full of guilt.

 “i-i wont hurt you.” he finally says. i take a breath out as another tear falls out of my eye.

 “you already did, luke.” i tell him. he blinks a few times in realization. i turn away from him and shake my head.

 “you told me those hurtful things that day.” i quietly say. i hear him sigh.

 “i-it was all an act. you didn’t a-actually think i meant it.” luke says, uncomfortably laughing. i bite my lip and look down.

 “you looked me straight in the eyes and told me. how could i not.” i hear him groan. he scoots closer to me and puts his hand on mine, which is on the ground. i look at him and he looks back at me.

 “i-im sorry. i am so so so sorry about everything.” he honestly says. 

 “i shouldn't have been w-with those idiots. i thought i was cool and some shit, but i really wasnt. i just hurt you and my f-friends.” he says. i nod.

 “you did hurt me, but it made me feel worse seeing your friends upset.” i tell him. he nods.

 “ i know and i f-feel like shit doing that. i’ll make it up to all of you i promise. i’ll d-do anything.” he tells me. i look at him and smile a little.

 “anything?” i ask him. he nods. 

 “okay well… please just sing with me tomorrow at the assembly in school. that’s all i’m asking. i can’t sing alone. i need you.” i tell him. i hold his hand and he looks down.

 “i.. u-uh…” he scratches the back of his neck. i let go of his hand and i look at him.

 “don’t tell me you cant go.” i say with disbelief. he turns to me. his blue eyes are full of guilt. 

 “i-im sorry i-“ i stand up and start to walk away from him. i hear him run towards me. he grabs my arm and i turn to him.

 “nick has a big party and everyone’s ditching to go to his. i can’t miss it.” luke says. i angrily take his arm off of me and i walk faster away from him.

 “y-you just dont understand!” luke yells at me. i turn around and look at him.

 “no, luke! i do understand. you’d rather be with your fake friends than your real ones.” i angrily say back. i start walking away from him. he catches up with me and grabs my arm again, holding me back.

 “if i don’t go, he’ll hurt you. h-he’ll-“

 “it doesn't matter! i’m already hurt! you hurt ME. i dont care!” i scream. his eyes start to shine while looking at me.

 “p-please.” luke weakly tells me as i walk away. 

 i stop walking and i turn around. he stands there looking at me.

 and i say this,

“some of us have to grow up sometimes, if so. if i have to i’m gonna leave you behind. remember those words, luke?” and then i walk away.