Trapped

Chapter 15

He raped me. Soon after, I lie shivering in his bed with the comforter pulled up to my chin. When he slammed the door and locked it from the outside, I didn't feel a thing. I didn't hear the loud bang that must have come from the door being shut so hard or feel his hands moving to pull down my pants and underwear. All I heard was the lock sliding shut from the outside and knowing that I was never going to be rescued.

When he removed the bindings, I didn't feel any different having them off. I felt numb. Even if someone came for me and locked him up, I would still be in this room bent over this bed. Day in and day out. I'm afraid to sleep. I'm afraid that my dreams will contort this event and make it even worse than it already is.

Other than the obvious bright red marks circling my wrists and ankles and my incessant shivering, there is no evidence of what happened. He didn't use protection and I'm not on birth control and because of this I worry that I will have to have his baby. I will have to bear his child for nine months and go through a whole lot of pain to give birth to his baby. It can't happen. I won't let it happen. I will escape or I will die in the process.

I always dreamed of my first time being special. I would be on my honeymoon, celebrating finding my soulmate. If someone had told me I would lose my purity to rape, I would have told them to piss off. I've always thought of myself as strong enough, but I never realized half of my strength is in my brothers. Without them I don't know what to do. I don't know how to fight back.

"Hi, Lily." I'm so zoned out, I barely hear Layla's soft voice as she enters the room and sits on the bed opposite me. "I heard you're having a hard time coping and to bring you some pain reliever for a headache." Is that what he's telling people? That I have a headache and I'm struggling to cope? What kind of crap is that? And why would he care if I was in pain? He raped me!

She hands me the small pill bottle and a water. I am in pain, but I refuse to take medication from these people. I shake my head, but she persists. I don't guess I have a choice in the matter so I take the pills and water and choke down a couple pain relievers. She stays still for a couple minutes just staring into open space before asking the dumbest question of all time.

"Are you okay?" Of course I'm not okay! Why would I be okay? The full weight of the situation hits me like a sack of bricks and I start to sob. She scoots over on the bed so we are pressed against each other and wraps her arms around me. I don't even try to fight it. I lean into the comforting touch and sob until I have no tears left. "You'll be alright, Lilian." She says and makes shushing sounds above my head, rocking me. I start to shake my head but that only makes the shushing grown louder and I stop.

"When will it ever be okay?" I ask, for once speaking my mind in this hellhole.

"I don't know." She says and I'm shocked by her response. I thought she was the most brainwashed person here. I look up at her and she releases me. I sit up and we both turn our attention to the wall in front of us. "I don't know when I stopped caring. I just know that now, it's just easier to give in." She turns to me looking the most normal I've seen since I've been here. "I wasn't born into this family. I was taken when I was almost two years of age and raised as one of their own. Mary claimed me as her child and I have tried to be the perfect angel ever since I was about four." She sighs and looks down at her lap. "I tried to fight for a year. Always asking where my parents were and why I couldn't go home. They punished me and now I have scars to show for it."

She finishes and shows me five straight lines above her stomach. I gasp and she looks up into my shocked eyes. I lift my shirt as well and her eyes widen. She traces the line with her eyes many different times. I pull my shirt down and I look into her light blue eyes. Luke told me it was a birth mark. How could he keep that from me?