My Addiction

Chapter Five

Chapter Five: Girl Crush

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Exhaustion overtook Emily's body as she made her way into her bland apartment. She definitely needed to add a coat of paint onto the walls, noticing how plain her apartment was.

She locked the door behind her, before flipping the light on, when she glanced around her apartment she decided that it looked better with the light turned off.

She usually kept her place clean, but right now her apartment was littered with empty bottles of liquor and food containers. She'd clean it up later.

The pills always made her tired, aiding her in getting a half-decent sleep at night. Her body was painfully aching and she knew it was time for a few more. It would take the pain away.

Strewing her jacket over the couch, she made her way down the hallway to the bathroom.

Emily began to fill the luxurious bathtub with scalding hot water, it would take a couple of minutes to fill up. She sighed, sluggishly opening up the medicine cabinet and retrieved her daily fix.

She placed the tiny pills in her mouth, the bitter, chalky taste coating her tongue made her grimace and despite being used to it, she still wanted to gag.

Emily turned on her heels and made her way into the roomy kitchen. She opened the refrigerator, peeking inside for something to cleanse the god-awful taste from her mouth. A look inside revealed — a box of pizza, a few bottles of water, and half-eaten Chinese food that she didn't even recall ordering and a six-pack of beer.

Emily grabbed a beer and pushed the fridge door shut with a grunt. She unscrewed the top, chugging a large quantity of the tangy beverage down before resting it on the coffee table.

She finished the beer while she skimmed through the newspaper for a moment. She threw the paper across the table with a huff and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

Upon returning to the bathroom, Emily turned the water off and glanced at her reflection in the mirror. She looked tired, emotionally, and physically, but her appearance couldn't compare to the way she felt.

Removing her clothes, she hissed faintly at the hot water initially hitting her bare skin before she engulfed her sore body into the relaxing tranquility of the water.

The haziness sunk in as the pills began to go to work, making Emily lean her head against the back of the tub.

There was an issue that she was rather uncertain about. She was supposed to meet with Alison tomorrow and she wasn't sure if it was some sort of date.

It surely felt like a date, even if Alison hadn't actually said so. She sighed heavily, she wasn't even sure what she preferred at this point, staying home alone or go on a pity date with the girl she liked.

The whole concept of having a girlfriend to Emily didn't seem realistic. Who honestly, in their right mind, would want to have sex with her?

The thought of it was still unreal. Sometimes, it would make her uneasy as she felt the great responsibility to never disappoint in bed or if she would ever have the chance again.

The thought alone was eating at her because what if she couldn't? What if all she does is disappoint? Especially with a girl like Alison, who clearly expects nothing less than her expectations.

Emily turned the water off, climbing out of the lukewarm water carefully. She stood in the mirror, practically scowling at her own reflection. She knew she wasn't bad looking facially. Above the waist she was fine. She knew that part, but what she had in her boxer briefs made her feel like a complete monster. A freak. Other people had even told her as much.