The girl who tried

***

MY DREAM LAST NIGHT WAS ALMOST THE same as the night before. Not really but close. I was at Justin's house hanging out with him after the breakup which was four months back. We were laughing and joking around just like we used to when it all gets quiet. I looked him in the eyes and asked,
"Do you still still love me?" He looked at me with soft eyes and said "I never stopped loving you..." Then he pulled me in close and kissed me like it was the first time we've ever kissed. It was great at least the thought of it. Nearly got horny because of it but that's a story for another day.
Unfortunately my real life isn't as happily peachy as I want it to be. Only leads me with trails of disappointment. And tears and oh yea more tears. I was okay for the most part, but then I had to back track and now it's like all that bullshit I tried to leave behind is all rushing back again. And the shits a joke, well obviously not to me but to the people around me with their "I told you so" and shit.
Sometimes it's comes into points where it's uncontrollable and the feelings overwhelm me and I start to get heart sick. Sometimes I choose to do it on purpose and want to think about him. In a beautiful way, the way that made me fall in love with him in the first. Someone told me to just think about his flaws, that way I could get over him. Part of me wish I could do such thing that way everything could be easier for me, but another part of me still wants to love him... still wants to feel those feelings.. I still wants to be happy.
And yes I do know that I'm looking for love in all the wrong places but what can I say it's like once you get a taste of it you come back for more. In this case he is the taste of love that I tried and I still have a dying desire for more of it. Kills me to say but it's unfortunately true. I moved to Dc in may so we're pretty far apart in distance but I've been dying to finally go see him for the longest. Even when we weren't talking for awhile.
"Man I barely have no friends anymore anyway. I don't need friends though, I have two which is enough." Justin complains.
" Well ouch thought we were friends. But anyways it's not different for me, there's either people acting like you friend while talking about you behind your back, guys trying to fuck, or unstable assholes, or the losers, they're sweethearts hut weird as fuck and then there are the people that are CONSTANTLY in their feelings which gets annoying being around that 24/7 like stop bitching all the time gosh but yea I have like one close friend and everyone else is aquatinted."
"Id qualify as one of Dem fuck boys if I were there. I've become a slut."
"That's hot."
"I know right"
"There'd probably be a lot of girls trying to talk to you if you were to move down there maybe the white ones and a few black ones" I chuckle.
"Oh so I'm not a charmer like I used to be?"
"No comment"
"Oh fuck you," he laughs.
"So like... What you doing?"
"No stop." I laugh annoyed.
"What do you mean? I can say what you doing as much as I want. Bitch. Just kidding." He chuckled.
" Well damn so I'm a bitch now?" I ask playfully acting as if I was hurt by it.
"No you're a cunt nugget. Oh my Lord my fucking Sims house is catching on fire."
"Welp I hope your Sims die."
"Same. One is about to die any day. He's a devious one. He mudered his wife and his cousins adopted daughter. Well no I did that. But I blamed it on him for dramatic affect."
"What the fuck, and you stole cunt nugget from me."
"Of course I did."
"So that's what they're doing now, purging family?"
"No it's complicated."
"Welp."
"This is the wealthiest family I've ever had naturally. The family tree started back three generations. Maybe fouror five at this point. But Shawn, well Theodore is his name now is an elder. He grew up a loser with no job and was a failed sim but to add story I made him practice gardening and he stumbled across a rare plant called a life plant. Which is very hard to grow and rare to find and what it does is add to a Sims lifespan when one of it's fruits are eaten. So I decided that Shawn at the time was gonna become mayor and turn the city of Moonlight Bay into his own. By using the life fruit as a tool to live longer he over took the political business. And now is level 10, which is the highest level. But he got so caught up in his job that he forgot to take care of the plants and they died. So he's gonna die soon but I made it seem like the fruits made him go mad which caused him to kill his wife by trapping her in the walls of a pool house that was constructed. Then did the same to the adopted daughter by trapping her in the walls over theor extremely enormous house. He's like 228 days old and technically shouldnt be alive. His cousin shouldnt be either. She experienced with these plants at one point. So she's pretty old. It's actually pretty cool and time consuming and I'm not surprised I'm not a virgin over this shit." He explained.
"I've come to the conclusion that you have no life. Also no comment on that last remark, you mind as well write a book about it because that was a lot to take in like damn."
"You're probably about to get spermed. Just kidding just kidding." I laughed at that and shook my head.
"Ummmmmm no comment, that's gay and oh my Lord I'mma cut you."
"Good bitch cut me. Kill me I dare you. I wanna die so do it. "
"I said cut not kill."
"To bad you gotta do it. Now do it hurry. Before you change your mind."
"No."
"Yes."

"You can live and suffer."
"Oh fuck off. Just kidding just kidding."
"I might shoot your dick off that way you can die painfully."
" Oh you wouldnt do that to my penis. Would you?
"Hmm, no. Well depends."
"On?"
"Just depends you don't need to worry about that. But I would do it to someone."
"Who??? And nooo tell me."
"Trump like shit fuck that nigga."
"Yo!"
"Nope I'm not telling."
"Please?"
"Why?"
"I'm curious."
"Curiosity killed a sim. I'm hungry."
"Eat. But before you eat you gotta tell me what it depends on."

"I don't gotta do nothing."
"Fine I don't even care then. Betch." I laugh.
" I'm tired of you calling me bitches and betches. Puta."
"I can call you whatever betchhhhh."
"Now if I shoot your pee pee off don't say nothing strubba lubba dipshit."
"You ain't allowed near my pee pee now."
" Because I mayor may not shoot it?"
"Because you probably would shoot it."
"I mean if you think about it where am I gonna get a gun from?"
"Shit I don't know if i don't trust you enough now to be around it."

"I wouldn't shoot it I don't have the heart for that unless you were to make me like really mad as fuck. Like off the wall mad."
"Well for one you wouldn't even get close to it because before you would be able to aim any type of project weapon at me I would of kicked the shit out of your hands before mercilessly beating the shit out of you. Just kidding." He laughs I shake my head at him.
"Well um... that is um interesting."
"Yes very I'm a trained killer. Not really but I am pretty skilled with a machete."
"Yea reckon you tried to kill me the first time I visited you. Fucking cunt nugget."
"You has it coming you jumped at me. Like you were gonna attack plus you caught me in my hiding bush."

"I know." I laughed. "You scared me and in return I did the same sort of because afterwards you tried to killed me."
"I scared you 20 feet away by peeking out a bush."
"Barely I wasn't close enough to see you."
"You were sitting."
"I'm blind as fuck so I couldn't of seen you from 20 feet away."
"Ah true but you had your glasses then. So checkmate."
"Shush."
"Bruh make me. Exactly you can't hahahaha." I smirk and tackle him holding him down. He turned me over and switched positions.
"I'm still talking tho plus I didn't say I wanted you to make me shush."
"Imma put a cat in your mouth... wait that sounds wrong."
"Because it is wrong." He smiled.
"If I let you go are you gonna hurt me?"

"Maybe."
"Then I'm not gonna let you go."
"Eh I like this anyway." I said smiling. He chuckled and kissed me along the bridge of my nose.
"I figured you did assuming your not resisting."
"Exactly... Justin why do you do these things to me?"
    "What do you mean?"
    "Like... you just make me feel things. When I'm in your presence you just make me so fucking uncontrollably happy. Why do you do that?" He let me go and sat up.
    "Well I mean... a girl like you should always be happy. You're just something special."
    "You really know how to fuck with someone's mood."
    "I try not to."
    "I know."
"I love you Autumn."
    "I love you too Justin."

I woke up out of my sleep checked the time and sighed. It was only 3am I laid there in the dark looking at the ceiling with tears rolling down my cheek. It felt so real... but in reality it was only a dream.