Broken

Home alone

....Carissa
Me:"Carissa!"
(Btw she's been on a vacation that's why she hasn't been around)
I hug her tight and she pulls my arm towards the couch I sit beside her and we watch Jane the virgin and emilio brings us ice cream and a bunch of sweets and popcorn we laugh and emilio says to ivan
Emilio:"aren't you glad I called her"
Ivan:"yeah"
Carissa:"can y'all stop talking about how great full you are to have me and get us a blanket"
They laugh and ivan gets us a blanket then I get up and change into

Then I go back and lay down on the couch
~3 days later~
It's been three days since I last saw Carissa she helped me at that moment but that doesn't mean that the depression is gone or  the constant thoughts of dragging a blade across my wrists or jumping off a bridge or hanging myself I'm snapped out of my thoughts by Carissa laughing at whatever just happened on the tv show I start to close my eyes and soon I'm asleep
End of P.O.V
Ivan's P.O.V
Y/n fell asleep and when Carissa finished the episode she left I start thinking about what could have happened at school that made y/n so upset I sit beside her on the couch when her phone vibrated I look at it and see Carissa texted her saying
Carissa:"when you see this tell me what happened at school because it had to be big because you seemed really upset did ivan or emilio do something?"
I turn her phone off and lay back on the couch thinking if me or emilio did anything wrong in the last few hours what if Ethan or Grayson did something to her I shake my head trying to get rid of the thoughts of what they could've done I lay behind y/n and wrap my arms around her and close my eyes
End of P.O.V
~Next morning~
Y/n's P.O.V
I wake up and it's 10:30 I look around and the twins are gone so I sit up and run my hand through my hair I stand up and go take and shower then put on

Then I brush my teeth and put on my headphones and listen to wake me up inside by evanescence I lay on the couch in the dark and I start to cry because I feel ashamed about what happened and I feel empty I start looking at my arms picturing cutes on my arm and blood dripping down from them I try thinking how would doing that help or do anything and then I thought it would help by letting me control some kind of pain and getting me closer to not feeling anything ever again I get up and I start walking upstairs and I go to my lock box and grab two blades I keep them in a lock box so no one knows I have them I roll up my sleeve and press it against my wrist and start to drag it across my wrist once it starts bleeding really bad and I make the second one my phone starts ringing and it's ivan I answer it
Ivan:"hey baby are you okay?"
I cough and say
Me:"yeah I-I'm fine why?"
Ivan:"because you were really upset last night"
Me:"ummm...what are you doing"
Ivan:"nothing I'm on my way to class"
Me:"okay well I guess I'll talk to you later love you"
Ivan:"love you too"
I hang up and blink my eyes while tears fall onto my cheeks I watch as the blood pours from the cuts onto my arm I start to make the third one,fourth and fifth before I know it there's twelve and my blood is dripping onto the floor I get up and go to the bathroom leaving a trail of blood and run water over my cuts while doing so I watch the blood from the cuts go down the drain they keep bleeding so I get a towel and apply pressure to the cuts then the bathroom door opens and I see ivan standing at the door way I quickly shut the door and lock it
End of P.O.V

*READ IVANS REACTION AFTER THIS ONE IF IT DOESN'T ALREADY POP UP THAT WAY*
~published may,22,2019