Addiction & Recovery | Robsten

III | The Kristen Stewart Effect

Robert's Pov;

    I became full on addicted to this woman, an emerald eyed brunette haired goddess by the name of Kristen Jaymes Stewart, from the moment I first laid my eyes on her. And that moment came long before we officially met. I saw her not for the first time at an audition, but in a movie. That movie was her most recent film at the time titled Into The Wild. It had become very popular because of the book and the controversial story behind it. Since my acting career was basically in the toilet at that particular point in time, I had made it a goal of mine to watch more films and maybe pick up some tips or inspiration or something of that nature to get my career going again. By chance I began to watch her and what I saw in her inspired me more than years of acting classes or obsessive film observation ever could. I watched her strip and get down and dirty in the restricted rated film. She portrayed aspects of humanity so raw and honest, it was refreshing and daring and inspiring. I couldn't turn away through the entire film. I watched her sing along the side of her co-star in the movie, the main character Christopher McCandless, and the sound of her soft singing voice swept me right off my feet. The part I found truly unforgettable was that scene of her lying in a bed. She was wearing very little clothing, exposing her long legs and small frame. She looked sexy, rugged and dirty, yet still sexy as hell. She tried without success to seduce her romantic interest, but in the process had very much seduced me. I know it was a scene and he had to turn her down, but I don't think if I were the one in his place I would've been able to resist her. Not if my character depended on it. Not even if my career depended on it. I guess that makes him a far better actor than me. So be it. I don't think any man of a sound mind and able body would be deaf to her siren call. I certainly wasn't. The way she completely became her character on-screen was enchanting to me. In those moments she really was Tracy not Kristen. She had the gift to embody another person in a way that no one else could or ever would. She was brilliant. Incredible. From then on, I became hooked. I became obsessed. I had to have more of her. I needed it, like I needed air to breathe. I knew for certain from that moment on that I had to meet her. I had to know her. I had to love her. It wasn't even a choice. It just was.

    At first, I had no plans for how I could get closer to her, then It became public knowledge that she had been cast for a new movie, a movie that was set to become a full series and a massive blockbuster, and she just so happened to be in need of a co-star for her love interest in the romantic and dramatic fantasy book adaptation of The Twilight Saga. It was the perfect excuse to see her. I gravitated to the project right away, making sure I got my hands on the script and an audition lined up. I wasn't confident in my acting ability and I was doubtful I would be able to snag the part, but It didn't stop me from becoming excited about the possibilities. If I could get the part I would be able to get close to her. After so long of admiring her from afar she'd be part of my reality. I would get a shot at being with my already famous and very much out of my league in every possible way crush. Worst-case-scenario I would go home empty-handed from my audition with no shot at meeting Kristen and an even closer to deceased acting career. So, I took a chance. I read the script once, twice, and a third time. Then when I knew I had it memorized, I hastily went to my audition, not stopping once to think about what I was getting myself into. It didn't matter what would happen from that day forward. All I could think about was Kristen. Thousands of actors auditioned for the same part as me. I was painfully aware that my rivals were likely more handsome, more talented, and more successful than me. Still, instead of dwelling on all my shortcomings and insecurities, I gave the audition my best shot, determined to get the part. By some miracle, I made it into the elite group of possible actors for the part and that was when I realized my dream was becoming my reality. The director flew me out along with the other possible Edwards, and the already selected Kristen Stewart to her home. That was when I for the first official time got to meet the woman of my dreams, Kristen Jaymes Stewart. I kept it cool, professional, and polite, while we did our chemistry test right there on the director's own bed. Later, after I found out I had gotten the part as her Edward, I discovered she was the reason why I got the part. I fared decently with the director, but she wasn't fully decided on me being cast even after she had seen our chemistry test in which we had proven our chemistry was a very much tangible thing and could easily be brought to life on-screen, that is until Kristen made her become sure about me. Kristen demanded that I have the part. She was convinced I was perfect for the role and no other man could take my place as Edward no matter what anyone else had to say about it. She fought for me to get the part and so I got the part. It was like everyone would bend to her will with a little push. I wasn't the only one who was smitten with her. It was as if she had the entirety of the world wrapped around her little finger. I had almost given up on acting before her. I didn't believe in myself, didn't find myself worthy or special in any way. But she did. And with time she made me believe in myself just as much as she did. She had a way of doing that, making people believe the things she says are true, even when they could not be further from the truth. It was her talent, an ability that had an effect on me like no other.