A choice of the Heart

Chapter Three

Kiki sat in class, trying to pay attention, but she just couldn't bring herself to focus on anything right now. Her mind was wandering, it so didn't feel real, none of it. She wondered if she was ever going to cry, wondered when she would really accept that it happened.

She had read somewhere about denial being the first step of grieving. But she wasn't denying it, she just couldn't make it feel real.

The bell must have rung, because the next thing Kiki knew, everyone was leaving the class. She looked at her paper and realized that she hadn't heard anything that was said during the class. She would have to get the notes from Jeremy.

What's the point? The little voice in her head said. What? Are you gonna get in trouble with you dad for not getting good grades? Kiki tried to ignore it, hoping that the voice would leave her alone to her bitter thoughts.

"Kiara? Class is over, it's time for lunch." Said the teacher, Kiki looked at him confused. Lunch? She looked down at her watch to see that he was telling the truth. Then, just as she stood, she was met with the smiling face of Jeremy.

"Hey! You weren't at lunch so I came to pick you up!" He said enthusiastically. Kiki couldn't help but smile at him, she gathered her stuff and walked to his side, leaning into him a little for support. Jeremy looked surprised but let it happen.

Arriving in the lunchroom, the two of them took their spots. There were a few more kids that sat with them, they were friends but they didn't involve themself much with their lives. Jeremy pulled out his lunch and started chowing down, Kiki just sat there, staring at her food. When Jeremy looked at her with pity, she took a cautious bite of her sandwich, just trying to get him to stop worrying.

With just a single bite her stomach rolled and she put the food back on the table. Jeremy tried to talk with her, asking her how she was feeling, if she needed anything, what they were planning to do. Kiki really didn't know the answers to any of his questions, she knew that these were things they were going to need to plan. She wondered if Devin had any ideas.

Speaking of Devin, she didn't see him sitting in the lunchroom. She knew that he had the same lunch as her, so she wondered where he could be. Just as she was about to scan the room again, the PA system booted up, an her name was called, telling her to report to the office. She sighed, feeling annoyed. Then, she realized that was the first real emotion she had felt since she got the news.

Jeremy looked at her as she stood, asking if she wanted him to come with. Kiki offered a minute smile, shaking her head.

"I'll be fine." She replied, gathering her uneaten lunch and tossing it before making her way to the front of the school.

Once in the office, she was directed to take a seat outside of the counselor's room and wait for a few moments. She could feel her eyes slipping closed, the lack of sleep catching up to her. Kiki couldn't have been out for more than a few minutes before she was awakened by the counselor.

"Ms. Klein?" She asked, Kiki's eyes shot open, and she took a second to focus on the figure above her. "Hello, please, come on in." She instructed, Kiki did, not saying anything and watching intently on her lap. They just sat there in silence, neither one of them willing to break it.

Finally, after what was an awkward few minutes, Stacy finally cleared her throat, causing Kiki to look up.

"Ms. Klein? Would you like to talk to me about what happened?" She tried to say it gently, but Kiki couldn't help but glare at her. Again, Stacy cleared her throat and Kiki rolled her eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it." She finally whispered, wringing her hands. "It's fine, I'll manage." She offered. Stacy nodded, looking over some papers in front of her.