I don't just want to be your Friend(Jang wonyoung)

Insult to Injury

Though my friendship with Wonyoung was salvaged, my feelings did not go away. It actually intensified and with each passing day I try to act like I was fine, it got harder and harder for me, to the point where I was about to burst. I wanted her, so badly but after screwing up, it felt like an impossible task, like climbing Mount Everest with no clothes.

Wonyoung and I started hanging out as we did normally, sometimes with Yujin, other time without but we always had fun. I tried to ignore my hearts desires and act as if everything was normal, but there was times where the air got awkward. I mean that much can be expected when one of your oldest friends randomly kisses you on the lips without any warning.

To be honest, I was at a crossroad, unsure of the path to take. Sure it could be seen that she didn't want me to have affection for her and A guy should know when to call it quits but from the information I know, she didn't reject me, she just felt it was safer being friends. I wanted to risk everything to have her but I was afraid, unwillingly to let go of her.

"You know, your really dumb. Like really really dumb. How could your first hint towards a girl to show affection be a kiss? Are you even thinking before you act? It's ridiculous that she still wants to be friends with someone as stupid as you." There was Yujin being blunt as usual as we were having dinner after a Long day of training.

"I mean, I'm not very experienced at this. All those dramas always show the girl falling for the dude when he kisses her." I tried to utter an excuse in response but Yujin started shaking her head.

"You really think taking advice from a television show is a smart thing to do? Wow man you're really a genius!" I couldn't do anything but laugh. Laugh not only at how sarcastic Yujin was but also at myself and how much I had made a fool of myself.

"Hey Yujin?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm going to confess to her again. This time like a human being. I'm honestly very scared this could ruin us but I need her." Yujin snarled but understood I was being serious.

"Technically you don't need her but I get you. You know what, you go ahead. What's the worst that could happen?"

"The worst thing that could happen is her pushing me out of her life completely for being kind of insensitive but I swear I will explode if I keep holding my feelings in."

"Suit yourself man. If it's what your heart demands, do it." I asked Wonyoung to have dinner with me after training the next day, and decided that I would confess to her there.

The next day

"So what do you want to eat?"

"Idk, you asked me out I thought you had a plan." We had just finished practice and were exhausted from the long day.

"Pizza?"

"Yes! Yes! Yes! Oh my god I haven't had pizza in forever." We got to the restaurant and ordered a magarita pizza to share. I tried to talk to her about training and other things, mainly keeping it like just us hanging out on any other day.

"You heard the new StrayKids song? It's amazing!"

"Yeah I know right. We should learn it some day. If we get the time that is." We we're just chatting away but I knew I shouldn't drag on any longer.

After we finished the pizza, we sat at the restaurant for a while as she scrolled through her Instagram feed and I sipped on my drink. I looked at her with her head down, tapped her hands gingerly and started, "Wonyoung...". She looked up, a nervous tick, a flutter of anxiety, "I like you, very much."

"Yeah I know." I didn't know how to take that response so I just continued.

"I was wondering if you want to be my girlfriend..." I whispered gingerly, almost shyly. She looked at me, as she held a weird expression on her face that made me unsure how to feel.

"Actually, I just started dating someone. I'm sorry." With those words, my world came tumbling down again. A mixture of embarrassment and anger ran through my veins and I was at a lost for words. I just sat there looking at her.

When I finally managed to think clearly again, all I said was "Oh." I didn't know what to do or how to even feel. "Who are you dating?"

"Kwang Hyun." And that was like the dagger through my heart. He used to be one of my besties but after appearing on produce 101, we drifted apart. Between me and Wonyoung was an awkward silence as we were both unsure of what to say.

I tried to remedy the situation by brushing it off, "I see. Well today's food was amazing. I need to rush home so bye!" I ran off, hiding the fact that my eyes were starting to tear up. I was destroyed.