THE DIRTY DEVIL AND ADORABLE ANGEL

chapter 7

CHAPTER 7 - HELL OF A CONFESSION or so I think?

After Dylan left, I was left pretty annoyed at Jacob. Hence I turned to look at him, “ok seriously what the heck is your problem? Any guy I go out, and they aren’t that many I tell you, but never mind that you have a problem!” I argued on top of my lungs. He opened his mouth to say something but I shut him and continued, “Just what the hell is your problem? Dylan makes me happy and makes me laugh what the hell bugs you?”

“oh my problem?! My problem is that you spend a lot of time with Dylan and I don’t like that! You never laugh with me but you always laugh with him! Why?”

“are you feeling jealous?” I asked and then I realised what I just asked.

“PAH! Its just that I really……..” he stopped and walked to his room leaving me utterly confused. 

I decided that probably some sleep would help my stressed soul. The sun rose pretty early for me. I took a quick glance at the watch and it was only six! I had two more hours of sleep and I couldn't sleep. After a few tossing and turning I decided it would be best for me to go get a quick swim.  I wore my bikini and shorts on top of it.

The water was cold but soothing. My eyes seemed to be tearing up i had no idea why. I took a deep breath and let it out. Then I saw Trisha frantically waving her hands and I called out to her. "COME UP!" and she did while i cleared my eyes. "crazy girl whatcha doing?" she asked.

"the same you are!" i replied and we swam. 

"Ash?" she called out. "mmhhmm" i replied while lying on my back floating.

"Ash i-i-i i think i'm I- uh y'know" she stammered.

"Trish, temme." I said determination evident in my tone.

"I uh nevermind." she concluded.

"Not so quick babe."

"okay, i think i'm starting to like..."

"like who?"

"JACOB!"

Everything around me went blur but i managed to pull myself and smiled at her. "i'm super duper sure he likes you too." i re-assured.

"I know! I mean the way he looks at me and the way he winks at me and the way he laughs at my lamest jokes and..." she said with a twinkle in her eye and with the most sincere smile and blush. My heart was paining. My eyes had tears but I blinked them away. 

"ohh Trish i'm soooooo happy for you!" I pretended to be over whelmed. No matter what friendship over anything. "bye catch ya later." announced Trisha while I swam for a bit longer.

I wanted to slap myself. Tears poured down my cheeks. I wanted to scream!!!! I was pained, hurt, angry, jealous! "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I let it out. I started to cry like really bad. Then i realised I better go. As i walked up to the elevator I wiped my eyes and put on my smile.

Up in the apartment, Jacob had made some amazing pancakes and he gave me a smile as I walked in. "Morning!" he said and I simply smiled at him. "fancy a pancake?" he asked with a devilish smile.

"I don't!" I snapped angrily. His face looked hurt and I apologised, "look sorry there's been a lot going on for me so please."

"No problem i'll leave some incase." he said understandingly.  I went to my room had a hot shower, wore my clothes and walked to the kitchen. There, there was a note on the pancake with a smiley face drawn on with chocolate sauce. The note read, 'ASH, MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL, I'LL DRIVE HAHA, AND ENJOY THE PANCAKES HUN." I grinned to myself and left after eating. During biology, Dylan asked to drop me but I apologised and promised him lunch tomorrow to make it up. "I should get rejected more often." he said and i raised an eyebrow. "because I have benefits like lunch." he finished and I gave out a laugh.

After school, I walked to Jacob's car and sat in with him. "what we upto?" I asked while placing my bag on the seats behind. "chill and enjoy." he said with a smirk. The drive was short and soon enough I realised we were going to the waterfall place. He led me through the way and we went on the rocks where the waterfall was an amazing site. He held my hands like they were fragile and looked me in the eye.

"Ashley Smiths you are the most beautiful and gorgeous girl I've ever met, you make me laugh when I don't even feel like smiling. You are like no other girl, and the only blooming flower in my garden and I think I'm falling for you and Falling pretty hard, so will you go out with me?" he asked while kneeling on one knee and offering me the other hand. I could feel my cheeks burning. All my dreams came true. I smiled like a nutty case.  I went into fantasy and placed my hand on his. He stood up and leaned closer to kiss me and I closed my eyes. Just as he was about to brush his lips against mine, I remembered Trisha's confession and pulled away. "I-I-I'm so sorry Jacob, all this I-I just can't." I said half crying and half wanting to kill myself.  I walked back to the car and he came running after. The drive was pretty silent as I looked outside the window fighting the tears which threatened to come out with each line of the song - somebody i used to know. 

We reached home and I went straight to my room and took out my diary and wrote down while crying out the niagra falls.

               Dear diary,

I swear to god I have no idea what the heck is happening in my life. I swear. I really like Jacob but... Trisha likes him. How can I do this to her? I feel so bad, so disgusted, so pained and so angry.  How can I just stab her? Especially after all she's done for me?? I have no idea on what to do. My head hurts and I wanna cry. I love Jacob, I really do. I mean if every star fell each time I thought of him probably all the galaxies would be empty.

Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I’ve felt, letting go is the most painful yet. I don't feel alive. I can't stop these tears from coming anymore. I'm not a quitter and I want to fight but against my sister??

After sobbing in my bed and looking at all my pictures with Jacob I woke up and decided to go get a break and cheer up. But how?

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sorry for the late updates!!!!

dont kill me!! i aint the villain here!!! :( its sad i know!! I cried while writing it!!!!

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next chapter coming up!! :*