6th September 2018
10:05 pm
I started college this week. Law, psychology and art A-levels. I was really excited to start with. It's hard since I always expected to tell you about my first weeks at college on the weekends when I would always see you. I don't know how to deal with that yet. There's days where I'm okay but then if something funny happens or new I always want to tell you and I can't anymore.
I haven't wrote in a long time. I'm sorry grandad...I hope you understand. I still think about you eery single day.
I had my first art lesson today at college and I just felt not worthy of being there. All the other girls were better than me and more experienced. My work looked stupid compared to all of there's. I'm really not sure if art is right for me but it's just...I love art so much and I want to pursue it. Am I capable though? I remember all the times I'd show you my drawings and paintings. I felt so proud showing them to you. You saw all my GCSE art coursework and you thought it was amazing. The last present you ever bought me was the art portfolio case to carry my work and equipment to college. I feel if I was to give art up then I'm letting you down and betraying you because you had that belief in me. I don't have the same passion or belief in myself and my skills anymore. I wish I could show you my drawings again. I wish I could talk to you again. See you again. Have a hug from you again.
I want to do art, for you and myself, but I..I'm not good enough.
YOU ARE READING
For Him
RandomThe things I wish I had said to you but didn't because I thought we had the time left together.
