The Subject - a Norman Reedus story

Chapter 18

The Subject

Chapter 18

The next day

Alex
I woke up in the hospital bed and I'm sore but in general I'll survive. But I don't know what to do about this thing I have inside me. I don't know what to do. I never saw myself as a mother so do I have the child and probably screw it up like I was by my folks, or get rid of it? Do I deserve to choose its fate? What does Norman want? Does his opinion matter? I reached down and touched the bandage covering my abdomen, and I honestly don't know what to do, all I feel like doing is crying because I've screwed my life up so bad. The door opened and I was surprised by who was there I didn't really expect him to come back.

"Morning beautiful. I was hoping you were asleep, you need your rest. The baby needs you to rest."

"I'm fine. Starving but fine." I watch him walk around the bed and sit down beside me.

"I'm sure they'll do breakfast soon. You aren't fine babe. We lost a baby."

"No I lost a baby."

"Yes you did but according to the doctor we still have one inside you."

"I don't know Norman. I can't be something's mother. I don't know if I can have this thing."

"It's not a thing it's our baby. I won't force you to have it but I can't support you if you don't."

"You're asking me to become something I know I'm going to fail at. I'll be a horrible parent. I don't want to curse a child with me as it's mother."

"I have to go I can't get out of it. I brought your things. You might want to look up Heterotopic gestation, and see how special the baby is. Maybe that might make you realize how unique it is." He leaves the bag and walks away.

"You don't love me I know you don't Norman. That just proves it. You treating me terrible won't make me change or make up my mind."

"I'll come back and see you later. I do love you Alex very much. I'm not treating you poorly or anything. I want you to think, that baby you're carrying it is an innocent baby. I won't force you to have it but it is very special. I wish you knew how much. What you are carrying only happens 0.6‑2.5 in every 10000 pregnancies babe. It is so very special I hope you realize that."

"It's not special. Because it's mother isn't special. I might be seeing you again later."

I am surprised when he walks back to me placing his hands on my face. "I love you Alex. You are special I wish you knew how much."

"I can't even not have kids like I was supposed to. I never wanted this, I never thought I would have a baby I don't know what to do."

"And we will figure it out together. I was so scared Alex that I was going to lose you, the baby isn't as important as you, I would've sacrificed it to save you. Because I love you."

"You love me?"

"Yeah silly, I love you."

"I love you too." He leaned in and kissed me , as he did the was a knock on the door and someone brought a tray of food. "Oh good I'm starving." She leaves it and looks at Norman.

"I'm going to stay make sure you eat everything then I have to go." As Norman gets a message. "Dammit, you know I know I'm their biggest draw card you'd think I'd get some consideration. In reality I shouldn't even be attending today. I wanted to stay with you. I'll be as quick as I can be." He kisses me again, this time leaving, and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

After eating a much needed meal I drifted off to sleep, I was dreaming of being in the Carrington house I didn't understand what I was doing there, I was walking down the staircase I looked at my hand there was two rings on it. Oh no I'm married to someone but whom. I heard the door open and saw a little girl run inside. "Mira did you wipe your feet?" I came down the stairs and saw Norman at the door. I went to him and kissed him. "Hey beautiful. Did you have a good nap? What about Harley?" I looked down and saw I had another rounded belly. "Yeah I did I thought for a moment I was here with dad."