» Dirty Little Secret [l.h] «

ten

I sat for a moment, allowing my eyes to flutter closed. Luke pulled away quickly and stood up again. "I should go." He said, walking to the door. My cheeks glowed red due to the intense moment we just shared.

When I realized Luke was walking out of my bedroom door, I walked quickly behind him. "Luke, you can't do that! Luke, listen to me!" I paced after him. He ignored me and grabbed the handle to my front door. "Listen to me just once, you asshole! You don't get to decide when you do and dont want me around!" I screamed, stopping in my tracks. Truth is, I try to stay under the radar for the most part. Luke was bringing out this side of me that I never knew was there.

Luke stares at my small figure and for a moment, it actually felt like he was looking at me, not through me.  My cheeks glowed red and my eyes begged him to stay. "Please just talk to me." I whispered. I was so desperate to just get any type of explanation. His face softened as he ran his hands through his forever messy hair. "It started about a year ago," He started, I stayed quiet. "It was a summer afternoon, I remember it so vaguely. We were at the lake with the rest of the guys and that was the day you got into that fight with your mom." 

My eyes immediately began to tear as the memories flooded my brain. "You cried all day but at that party... The sun was setting and Troye Sivan was playing, your body just swayed in the wind and the light from the campfire just lit you right up. You were so, so beautiful, M." Tears flooded my eyes and eventually streamed down my bright red cheeks. It's almost like the movies where everything blurs but him. I didn't dare say a word. "You were wearing those little jean shorts and one of my t-shirts. The way you moved was so carefree. That's when I saw you as more than just a friend. How can anyone move in such a carefree manor, yet care so much about everything and everyone? It is so beautiful. You were, are, so god damn beautiful." He finished, letting out a breath after. 

He has thought about this, his words were not jumbled or rushed, they were exact and accurate. He gripped at the ends of his hair. "You and Ash were together, I was with someone, I don't remember. Things were so complicated. Then, I thought I was over it but I'm not. Seeing you mad at me and around Michael all the time, it hurts." He sighed and stared at my eyes intensely. His bright blue eyes were so antagonizing. I bit my lip and looked away, "You hurt me, Luke." He nodded quickly and spoke one more time. "I am so sorry. I have really been thinking about this." 

His tongue glazed over his lip ring quickly as he glanced up at me one more time. He muttered another quick apology and let himself out. I stood there, tears pouring from my eyes, my entire body shaking. I did the only thing I could think of. I called Mikey.

Within 14 minutes, Mikey sat in my room with me. "I brought McDonalds because you sounded distressed." He spoke, lifting the bag up. I gave him a soft smile. I gave him a modified version of the truth which was that Luke apologized and that he wanted to be friends again. Close enough. Mikey was such a good listener, he never failed to make you feel special and important when you spoke. We ate our food and spoke about nonsense for the next 3 hours. "Are you still coming to my gig on Friday? I understand if not." I nodded quickly, "I wouldn't miss it for the world!" I giggled after the words came out. "I'm your groupie, remember?" He smirked and pulled me into his chest for a hug.

Mikey fell asleep in my bed about 20 minutes ago but I cannot stop thinking about Luke. I like Luke, even after everything he had done to me. I had this undying capacity to love Luke. The way he spoke about me was sincere and loving. I thought about when he pinned me against the wall earlier in the week and how I choked up. I thought about how safe I felt in his arms. I thought about when I was in eighth grade and I dreamed about losing my virginity to Luke. 

I gulped and rubbed my temples. 

I'm falling for Luke Hemmings.