» Dirty Little Secret [l.h] «

thirteen

It was like one of those waves that snatches you out of the calm ocean water and forces you to be put up to the ultimate test. Survival. Where you think you can swim, but all of a sudden you're scared and tired. You start thinking about that one time in third grade where you picked a booger and then flicked it at poor Billie Nowan who never hurt a soul. Or the time where you cooked your ex boyfriend raw chicken on accident and he never stopped bringing up how you 'tried to kill him'.

No, it's slower. Like graduation is in a month, but you're failing over half your classes with flying colors. Or hiding under a table during a school lockdown and briefly, just for a moment, thinking to yourself: so this is how I go? It is truly inexplicable.

Perhaps it's something different, to each their own after all. Maybe some folks like being dragged out by those wave thingies. They like the adrenaline rush and the conceptual scenario of ending up somewhere different each time it occurs. Like getting on a sail boat and not minding where it docks. Or petting a dog before asking if it bites. Some people aren't afraid of sharks, I guess.

But personally, more than anything, it was painful. It was knowing you couldn't swim and your mom telling you not to go into the deep end. It was you not listening, and that terrible wave thingie that I cannot remember the name of, snatching you up and swallowing you whole. It was no more blueberry pancakes, or walks in the park, or fresh air, or any air for that matter. It was you, me, us, drowning in that wave.

Rip Currents.

"What are you thinking about?" Mikey asked, twirling his pencil in his hair. This caused me to jump and gasp for air, almost reminding myself that I am not drowning in a rip current. "Nothing." I spoke numbly. It had been approximately 1 1/2 weeks since that party, since Luke Hemmings. Since last week, Luke and I had been meeting up in janitor closets, park bathrooms, and other unsanitary places just to make out and grab at each other.

It was because of me. I couldn't get enough of him, I had to keep going. But for some reason, I knew it would shatter Mikey. Luke hurt me & Michael fixed me, and then I went right back to Luke; fresh and new. I knew I was doing wrong but I couldn't stop. He was just too good.

Mikey snapped in my face, causing me to dart my eyes in his direction. "You're zoning out a lot more than normal... What's up?" He asked, sitting up now. Here was the perfect opportunity to tell my best friend of now 3 months about what I had been doing behind his back. "Im okay! Just stressed about finals." I said, giving reassuring eyes. He nodded and stared at me deeply. I broke our glance to look at my phone due to its vibrations.

Luke: I'm tired of dry humping in the janitors closet. I'm coming over. 5 minutes.

My eyes widened, knowing Luke and his lack of respect for my dirty little secret. There was no point in arguing, Luke had become very possessive over me and if I sat here and said I didn't like it, I would be a liar. "Who's that?" Mikey craned his neck to see what the contact name was. I quickly locked my phone and stood up from my bed, stretching my body out.

"My tutor for math... He's on his way." I said, fake sighing. Mike nodded, sitting up from his spot on my bed and eventually moving to stand next to me, fixing his purple hair in my bed side mirror. I heard a car outside as my heart dropped.

Me: 5 minutes. please.

Luke: Please what?

Me: 5 minutes please, daddy.

My cheeks glowed red as I head the engine outside of my house pull off again. "I'll walk you out, Mikey." He nodded and we walked to my front door. I hugged him tightly as he left. I left the front door open and giggled like a school girl. I ran upstairs to my room to light some candles and put on some cuter panties and bra. I wore my nike pros and a plain black halter top. I heard the door open down stairs and called out, "Up here!"

I flattened out any last wrinkles on my bed spread and turned around to see a very flustered Mikey.

I hate rip currents.