Cassiel,
I do hope you won't mind me using that name. We didn't really discuss it yesterday, but it seems difficult to call you Merritt now that I know you. I wanted to address our conversation and assure you that I am not angry. Although you did not say it, I know you worry you may have hurt me. I need you to know that I will never be upset with you for being honest.
I will, however, be upset with you if you remain unprotected. If you are determined to await an answer from Adonai, then you should do so in a manner that protects you. As much as I wanted to lie to Lucius and tell him you had left for America, I could not. He knows you are at Lily House and he knows who your companions are. Tell Gabriel to find a chapel. We cannot step onto holy ground, as long as you remain there, Lucifer cannot touch you. He will come after you. I do not know what he plans to do to you, but it will surely end in your demise. Please, don't let him get the chance to hurt you. If you want to wait, then wait—but do so in a manner that does not bare your neck to him
I have not told him of your true plan—for even if he realized your threat was only to me, I doubt it would do much good. He is still convinced that you are going to send all the demons from earth. Now, you are a very clever girl, but you only have one of those swords and you are not a trained fighter, nor were you ever a warrior angel. I was—and I know that you will have but one shot, one surprise moment to truly use that weapon. Cassiel, my love, I swear that when you are ready, I will not fight you. I shall go peacefully. But, I do have one last request: you must use this blade on Lucius.
I can almost hear Gabriel's righteous indignation as I write this. At least tell him to hear me out before he decides I am wrong. Cassiel, you have one chance to use this sword without Lucius knowing. I assure you, he will not expect you to be armed. Let that be his fatal mistake. Use it on him. Send him to the pit where he can wait until judgment.
I ask this not for myself, but for the nephilim. They have suffered under the hands of their fathers for far too long. They do not know redemption, nor anticipate forgiveness. Of the things in this fair creation—they are without free will. They sin because it is all they know. It is what clothes them, feeds them. To the neph, their father's sin is their own and they must continue in it. From birth, they are taught to hate themselves and to fear Lucifer. He is their god, their king. They do what they must because it is the only way that they feel loved. Can you imagine an existence where your only choice is hell?
Up until yesterday, I could. I knew what that felt like—but I have brought such a fate upon myself, Cassiel. I deserve it. Even now, thinking about your desire to end it all, to give me a choice outside of hell's wicked blaze, I feel undeserving of even that small mercy.
Rosie deserves better. All of the nephilim do. I have not spoken to Adonai since my fall, nor do I feel deserving of his ear, but I know He listens to your words. When you send Michael to Him, I ask that you speak to Him on this matter. I believe more can be saved through this. Lucius's banishment would not protect the nephilim entirely, for their father's would still walk this earth—but it would free them enough that they might finally find hope. I cannot imagine abandoning them to this, allowing them to continue to suffer as they do. Ask Him to spare them. Ask Him to allow you to take Lucifer from earth.
Yours always,
YOU ARE READING
Senseless
Historical FictionThe year is 1879. When thirteen-year-old Ruth Merritt Holbrook emerges from her family's burning estate, bloody and charred, but entirely numb--She makes headlines. Reporters believe she is deranged. They accuse her of having set the fire. All the h...