Relatives visiting the house be like -
Aurat : Aree beta tum kitni badi ho gayi ho! Kaisi ho?
Me: *doesn't have any idea about who she is*
Aap kaun?
Aurat : Mai tere papa ke didi ki chai ki mehandi ki bh**ri ki ------- nanand ki behan hu.
Me : Achha achha
Pranam maami ji
*tries to touch the foot but ya know, fat af so was able to just touch her ghutna*
Aunty : *To herself*
Aaj kal ke bacche itne aalsi. Pair bhi theek se nahi chhu sakte.
*to me*
Beta dimaag ghutne mein hai kya jo Ghutna chhu rahi ho?
Me : Mera toh pata nahi aunty ji, par aapka pet aapke pairon tak kyu aa raha hai? *says it in the sweetest way possible and laughs in a very sweet way*
Aunty : *laughs back in the most cheesy way*
Me : Aunty pani lau?
Aunty : Na na na na
Me : Aunty juice?
Aunty : Na na na na
Me : Aunty seb?
Aunty : na na na na
Me : Mai tera boyfriend
Tu meri girlfriend
Tu menu kendi-
Aunty : Na na na na
Me : Wtf?
Mother : *enters all of a sudden*
Aastha? Tune mami ke pair chhuye?
Me : Ha-
Aunty : Correction: Ghutne
Aajkal ke bacchon ko pair chhune hi kaha aate hain
Mummy : Ab kya kar sakte hain
*fake smiles*
*Two hours later*
Mummy : Aree vo pinki ki saas toh usko itna marti hai ki puchho mat
Aunty : Meri nanand jaise hai
*Two days later*
Aunty : Aree mera pinku toh hira hai hira. Hamesha test mein achhe number laata hai.
Ab Kal hi ki baat hai 23/100 laya tha bolo
Mummy : Aree meri Aastha bhi koi kam Nahi hai. Vo toh itne achhe se english bolti hai ki puchho mat.
*An aeon later*
Aunty : Chalo ji ab chalte hain
Mummy : Okay ji
Aunty : Aasthaaaaaaa
Ae aasthaaaaaa
Me : *Runs and comes in a whoop*
Kya hua? Kya hua? *pants* Mummy aap thik toh ho?
Aunty : Kuch nahi beta mai ja rahi thi 😊
Me : Achha aunty bye. *turns legs to run into the room again*
Aunty : Achha beta sun!
Me : Ab kya hua?
Aunty : Ye le *takes out 500 rupees*
Me : *says while taking the note from the hand* nahi aunty Nahi lagega
Mummy : Areerere nahi lagega aap rakho.
Aunty : Kaise nahi lagega? Lagega
Mummy : Nahi lagega
Aunty : Achha? *turns around to face me* Toh mai apne paise vapas-
*insert hawa ka jhonka*
Me : *already ran away in the speed of a light*
Aunty : Chalo toh chalti hoon.
*spends 2 hours in talking in the door only*
After a short meeting, aunty officially chali gayi. =_=
YOU ARE READING
The Chutiyapa Book
RandomHell I mean hello my pieces of shi- I mean pieces of shimmering chocolates! This book is filled with Condom- I mean content which is random! I can't do anything with your perverted mind kiddos! ??? Offended Already? Then this book is not meant f...
