Ren's POV:
The past couple of days have been pretty quiet since his breakdown. But we certainly felt much closer, it feels like he trusts me a lot more. Today we went fishing, and had an outdoor barbecue for dinner. The smell of smoke clung to our bodies, so Ichiji was currently in the shower, as I had gone earlier. But I felt uneasy, that one phrase, "was I always incapable of being loved?" Made me question myself, 'am I doing enough? Or am I fulfilling my duties as a wife? What have I been doing this entire time?' These sort of thoughts filled my head.
"Hey Ren, grab me something to wear" Ichiji asked, standing in the door way with a small towel wrapped loosely to cover his lower region. I felt my face explode, "yeah s-sure" I stuttered. I got up and went to his cupboard, glancing at the numerous things he could wear. "Are you feeling cold?" I asked, I heard him walk towards me, his chest resting against my back, and chin sitting on my shoulder.
"Not really" he hummed, I felt the reverberations on my neck, making me feel slightly dizzy. 'If it weren't for my freaking period, this would be brilliant, last day though' I thought. I picked up a white short sleeved vest and some red jogging bottoms. I picked up some plain black boxers. I glanced at everything and turned to look at him. "These ok?" I asked noticing his arms reached out from either side of me to pick up the clothes, "yeah, I'm good with these" he mumbled, sending shivers down my spine, the water dripping from his hair landing on my neck enhancing the effect.
"I don't really feel like wearing anything tonight, Ren." He whispered, his hands holding onto my hips. "I c-can't at the moment" I replied looking away. I felt his fingers forcing me to look at him, his eyes staring into my own. I felt my breathing become shallower, "really?" He asked as i felt his lips graze my ears before landing on mine. I felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me closer, my mind went blank. After what felt like years, he let go, as his hands reached to lift my shirt, I grabbed his hand. He looked at me, I felt my face flush as I looked down avoiding eye contact. "I'm on my period. But I should be done for tomorrow! So..." I admitted glancing up at him. He tilted his head Slightly, "period? Oh you mean the menstrual cycle" he said placing his fingers on his chin. "Yeah" I nodded, feeling very embarrassed.
"Well, I'm not scared of blood you know" he grinned moving towards me
"Well, I don't want to" I said backing away. There was a short silence.
. "That's fine then, Not much I can do about that" he said rubbing the back of his head and then grabbing the clothes I was holding. "I was wondering why you were distant, that explains it" he said dropping his towel. I felt my face explode as I looked across the room. "Aahhaaaaa hahahahahahah that brick looks so out of placeeeee" I said awkwardly laughing. After a few moments I glanced back to still see him with nothing on, "Ichiji, put your clothes on! Ples it's too much..." I said covering my eyes. "Hmm I thought you were enjoying the view" he said. I open my eyes looking at his smug expression. "No! I mean, well yes but! Ugh it's complicated, watch when I do this to you someday!" I pouted crossing my arms. I heard him laugh,
"You?! Tease me?! That sounds preposterous!" He exclaimed.
"Hey! I can try! Ok!!" I said glancing back up to see he was fully dressed, I let out a sigh of relief.
I collapse onto the bed arms stretched out beside me. "You stress me out so much sometimes" I huffed as I watched him come around and almost sit on me. I rolled out of the way looking at him, "heyyyyy, come on now" I said propping myself up on my elbows, my chin resting on his knee. "What?" He asked his fingers tracing my nose.
"You don't have to go and squish me" I pouted
"Well you moved did you not?" He said lying down with his hands behind his head. I moved up stealing glances his way. His eyes closed, the Questions circling around my head. He opened one of his eyes looking at me, "You look like you want to say something" he said moving onto his side, leaning his head on his arm.
"Are you happy...with me?" I whispered
"What?" He asked moving closer,
"Are you happy with me?" I asked, desperation laced in my voice. His eyes stared into my own, I felt myself panic slightly, 'what if he says no?' I thought
"What a dumb question" he sighed rolling back onto his back
"What?!" I said jolting up looking at him
"I said it was a dumb question" he repeated, 'what the heck was that supposed to mean?!' I thought my jaw dropping.
"Fine" I said gritting my teeth, about to leave when I felt him grab me by the arm, yanking me back. I fell on him, his face centimetres away. "Don't take it out of context" he said as his hands gently moved hair out of my face. "I wondered, since, you said you didn't feel loved. I didn't know what I was doing wrong" I muttered looking away.
