He's Not Just A Friend(Nouis fanfic AU)

Chapter 19

Niall

I kept running and didn't stop until my feet got tired. I found myself in the middle of a park. I found a bench and just rested for a little while. Then it hit me, why I was running. Louis just broke up with me. The boy that was the reason I came to America, just broke up with me.

The reasons I thought about were horrible.

Maybe he was tired of you.
He hates you.
He found someone better.
You weren't goon enough to begin with.

I shook my head in hopes that I would forget about those stupid reasons. I didn't want to go back to Louis's right now. Maybe in a few hours. I need time alone. Maybe that's what Louis needs. Time alone. Without me. He had three months. Now he wants more. Maybe i should just go back to Sydney.

~

Louis

I ran outside of the house in hope to find Niall on my doorstep. He wasn't there and I asked the boys if they could ring him. Harry texted him and Niall replied with "Don't look for me okay?"

Harry frowned as he showed me the message. I started to run in a random direction. Maybe the park? I ran and ran until the park was in my sight. I couldn't find Niall anywhere. I began to panic. I ran through the park at least 5 times. I still couldn't spot the boy in the red bandana. I shouldn't have done it so quickly. I yelled at myself.

"Stupid!" I screamed.

"Scolding yourself won't help," Harry walked in and sat next to me.

"Has Niall told you where he is? I'm getting worried." I looked up at him with worried eyes.

He sighed, "I told you, I tried contacting him in every way. I texted him a good twenty times and all he has said is, "I just need a few hours away from Louis."

That as when my heart sunk. He wanted to get away from me. I bolted out of the room and ran straight to the park again. A boy looked up at me and immediately started walking further away, it was Niall.

"Niall wait for me! Just let me explain!" I cried out.

He walked faster, "I don't want to talk to you Louis."

I sprinted towards the dirty blonde boy, grabbing his arm. He quickly yanked it out of my grasp and turned to face me.

"Louis, you don't have to explain anything. I get that you lost interest and you hate me now, I hate me too." His words caused me to frown.

"That's not the case at all and I don't hate you. If I hated you, I wouldn't be here, trying to explain the situation to you. Please just hear me out. Nathan, he's here in LA and his goal is to do anything to break us up, if that means killing one of us, he might do that. I wanted to break up with you to avoid one of us getting hurt. I know that if I got hurt, you would come check on me and he would probably hurt you and vice versa. I did this to protect us, protect you."

He just stared at me.

"Listen, if you're still mad at me, I'm going back home anyway," I walked away from him with a frown on my face.

~

I immediately walked to my room as I entered the house. I locked the door and started playing some songs very softly. The door flew open and I saw Niall walk in.

"Hi Ni-"

"I'm sleeping in Harry's room tonight," his tone was bitter, but had a hint of sadness. I felt my stomach turn. He didn't want anything to do with me.

I just layed back down on the bed and tears streamed rapidly down my face. I ruined everything, I always ruin everything.

(Warning: self harm and if you don't like that then there will be a thing telling you to read again)

I ran to the bathroom and grabbed one of the razors I use to shave with. The voices in my head got louder.

You ruin everything.

I brought the razor to my wrist and quickly dragged it across my wrist.

Niall hates your cuts.

I repeated my actions.

Worthless.

I ended up having at least 15 cuts on my arm. Blood trickling down.

(If you skipped that then you can look now)

I wrapped my arm in a bandage and wrapped myself in the blanket. I cried and cried until I fell asleep, but during the night I kept waking up almost every three hours. I just decided to stay up at around 6am. I just stared at the ceiling, emotionless. I couldn't feel anything. Everything around me seemed to disappear. The ceiling turned black.

~

I woke up and the last thing I remembered from last night was Niall, taking his bags and walking out of the room as he spit out the words, "I'm sleeping in Harry's room tonight."

I then looked back down at my bandaged arms and memories flooded my mind. All of the things I did wrong yesterday, all of the things I said to Niall, all of the things he said to me. I was wishing that this was all some sort of dream that I couldn't wake up from and i would soon be in my bed with Niall in my arms. I tried everything. I pinched myself repeatedly, it was all real. Niall did hate me. I did relapse after several months. I was so disappointed in myself. It was all my fault.

How could I forgive myself? I lost the only thing that mattered to me. The only thing that saved my life, I'm sorry Niall.

Harry DMed me and it was the phone number of Niall's phone for the US.

From: @Harry_Styles

I recommend you text him. He's been crying all night. He needs a sign from you Louis. He keeps repeating that he loves you and he made a mistake. Maybe come over to the room. I think he just needs to feel something.

The DM made me cry. He doesn't hate me? I immediately got up from the bed and walked into the room Harry was staying in. I saw Niall, curled into Harry's chest, crying his heart out.

"I miss him Harry, it's all my fault. I pushed him away," his cries were slightly muffled as his head was hiding in the crook of Harry's neck.

"You didn't push me away Niall," both Niall and Harry looked up at me, "I was in my room crying saying that it was my fault minutes ago. I love you so much Niall, I just didn't want you to get hurt because of Nathan. I just wanted to protect you. He will hurt one of us. Maybe both of us. So this was my only way of protecting you."

He looked at me with tear-rimmed eyes, getting out from Harry's arms and the covers to wrap his arms around me. I got him back, but I still can't be with him and that was what pained me the most.

~

I'm gonna cry, this chapter is so so bad. I'm sorry.

Well I hope you enjoyed, stay awesome ily

~Kairi xo