Her Secret Smile

44.

"My love for you has built me up and it is the one which broken me down"

Siddharth was busily packing his bag, Shiva and Lakshmi were standing near him and throwing draggers in their gaze. They terribly disliked this separation. But Siddharth has convinced them somewhat so that they were talking with him.

"You have to come whenever you get time, okay?" Lakshmi said.

"I will laksh, don't worry" he replied and looked Shiva who was looking at him sadly.

"Hey guys don't be sad, I will be back soon. When I come back you two will be at college. Then we can enjoy a lot without any restrictions. So smile. Please?" he asked and they smiled a little.

"Okay, you pack your bag, we will wait for you downstairs," Shiva told and they went out.

Siddharth was leaving in an evening flight and Vikranth also traveling with him to London. He is going to miss everything especially his mom, Meera was already worried and sad about this. She heard about what happened with Roshini when came back to the house, Siddharth just said she will wait for me to make his mom happy.

He was very sad like he lost everything for the past two weeks. He didn't eat properly and he can't sleep peacefully totally he is not like him. He felt so stressed, and couldn't stop thinking about Roshini. At a certain point he decides to call her but instantly drop that idea when he thinks about his dad, he was very happy that his son finally accepted his decision.
Considering his family's growth Siddharth remained silent hiding his uncontrollable love. He was not that selfish person, for his family he will do anything and that's conflict which made him avoid Roshini he hated himself for doing that, he avoided her so that he can stop himself from confessing his love. But all he did was apologizing to her mentally.

Thinking about this made him even gloomy every time...
Siddharth went near the bookshelf to take some books that he needed. He grabbed the book that love letter was in along with other few books. When he dropped that in his suitcase, the letter popped out.

Siddharth was confused to see that since it is kind of a color paper so he took that in his hands and when he found there is something written in it he opened it.

Dear love,

Don't be surprised that I am addressing you as my love because that is what my heart says whenever I look at you, that you are my one and only love. I don't know whether you remember our first meeting or not when the first time I saw you my heart just skipped a beat and you're the first person who brought out that kind of feeling in me. I tried to avoid your thoughts but you're something Siddharth. You made me think only about you... and I started accepting that you're my crush, I sometimes secretly noticed you in the library and watched you playing in the ground. The reason why I always sit on the bench near the playground is to see you. You know what, whenever I hear your voice or your name, and accidentally when I crossed you my heart will throb crazily and that conveyed you're doing something in me...

I was just keeping all these things inside me and I secretly started developing feelings for you. One day you came to me and asked to be your fake girlfriend I was confused but eventually accepted, how can I say no when I am having this uncontrollable feeling for you.

Looking at you from afar is different compared to be with you. You have deepened this love by your smile, talk, good nature, and everything attracted me. Loving you is kind of painful sometimes but even I liked that pain. So it doesn't affect me at all.

What are you Siddharth? What did you do to me?

To frankly say I can't imagine a life without you in it cause I am loving you like that crazily? I don't know whether you having this same kind of feelings but I wanted to tell all these things for a long time. Pretending was really exhausting for me. So no more hiding, I am in love with you Siddharth truly madly and deeply.