My focus is primarily on immersion. If I were to pick this up on Amazon or at Barnes & Nobles, how immersed would I be? Once I start to read it, can I even put it down? The more immersion you build for your reader, the more likely your book will fin...
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Written by MissFantasyy (tagged in the comments because Wattpad is being silly)
OVERALL: 📗43/50 Immersion Success!! Woot!!
The nice thing about this score is that I am confident you can boost it up with no issue. There was nothing wrong with the story itself, and the characters were very well-crafted. I think this could be a really fun read for YA readers. There are just minor errors in the story that are very "first draft" errors, usually only spotted by an outside reader (That's why beta readers, critiques and reviews are so important!). Which means once corrected, this can have a seriously solid start to what seems like a fun, engaging, and impactful story! It's already immersive, and it's not even in the final stages yet! That's a great sign.
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BONUS POINTS: Cover, Title, and Synopsis. Here, you can get additional points for nailing one or all of these down. They are bonus points because it's small things like this that make a story linger, but are not essential for immersion.
Cover:+1
Everything here works for me. I really like the fire, I like the bold white letters, and I love the wolf. It has a serious tone, but it doesn't seem overly dark. It takes a lot for me to pick up a book (I'm such a book shopper with my eyes at a store), but I think this cover would make me glance at it a few times, and then I'd go pick it up to read the synopsis.
Summary:+1
It fits the cover really well. I didn't like the "Why?" part, however, as that felt too impersonal, but so far I am getting a Young Adult vibe from the book. I have to say I love this synopsis a lot more than your previous one! Fantastic job at updating it! The synopsis is very interesting and seems like it has a lot of external drama that should make for a great read.
So far I am expecting this to read like a Young Adult, maybe New Adult with romance and a lot of adventures.
Title:+1
I like that I get a YA feel from this and can immediately assume it's something with wolves - either werewolves, or a pet, or something. I think that sets the tone really well.
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