Lion's Pride

Chapter 20

P . a . i . r . e

   THAT SAME MORNING

Tha-dump...

Tha-dump...

Tha-dump...

     MY BACK RESTS ON THE CHAIR BEHIND ME, MY ARMS FOLDED in my lap, and my heart beating against my chest. Strands of long hair stick to my face along with sweat.

Nervous sweat.

I sit in the dining room alone, the only usable light coming down from the warm chandelier above. My toes were surely blue now from lack of circulation as I clenched them tight behind a piece of wood on the chair. I couldn't move, let alone breathe properly. The long plastic pink and white stick on the table had more of my attention than anything else. My eyes gloss over for what seems like the millionth time tonight. I unravel an arm, attempting to wipe the tears away but no matter how hard I try, they always come flooding back down. I sniffle.

     This couldn't be true...

I tried my best to shake the stick, make the answer on it somehow go away or better yet, reverse itself but I knew that outcome would be impossible.

Oh my God.

__________

F l a s h b a c k

Night with Amir

     "You gone get that?" Amir's question seems to fall on deaf ears as he raises a brow.

     "Uh," I swallow the lump in my throat. "Of course."

     When I answer, the first thing I hear is heavy, slow breathing.

     "Hello?"

     "I need you."

     All of the color immediately drains from my face as the voice of Jah'eim flows into my ear. I don't know how to feel, but there is this wave of sadness that hits me. I find myself removing the phone from the nape of my ear for a brief second. My eyes stare at the unknown and very private number. Amir, whom was sitting on the other end of the black suede couch, puts down his box of food filled with orange chicken. I set my own box of shrimp fried rice to the side, quickly rethinking my decision and move it instead to the glass table. My body stands, a hand coming to rub at the back of my neck.

     "You okay?" Amir asks, concern lacing his words. I wave my hand, trying to reassure him. The same man that I shed tears over when I cheated on him, the same man that decided to leave me because of my one fault, and the same man that undeniably loved me (whether he admitted it or not), was on the other end of my matte black phone. I didn't know either to cry in happiness or sadness, or maybe scream at him that I was sorry for one last time. This man had found himself crawling back to me, even if it was the overlying dark liquor of Hennessy talking through his teeth. It's the fact that he called me, and he needs me, before anyone else.

     "I'm okay,"

     This had to mean something right? I had to mean something to him right?