A holiday for redemption 2

A feeling of Betrayal

Her heart grow heavy as she read their conversation.
They mostly talked about her; about her well being, about how she was driving Stella crazy and about how worried they both were about her.
They weren't daily conversations, but the context always seemed like a mother talking to her son.
After Jan had stopped talking to James, she'd told Stella she didn't want her talking to him.
But her mother had always been stubborn. She'd discussed things with James that she'd never said to Jan.
And Jan could feel the jealousy choking her. The anger wasn't far behind. Her mother had trusted a complete stranger.
She continued reading. She read where Stella announced her diagnosis and about how she knew about their kiss.
She read more and realised that he knew too much. Stella had discussed her with pride and he'd told her how much he loved her daughter.
Then she arrived at the end, where Stella had basically begged him to come back because she was worried about Jan.
And he'd promised her he would. Yet he'd come back 8 months later and even though she didn't know how to feel.

Tears splattered against the screen. Her vision grew blurry as the sobs hiccuped out of her.
Her hand trembled. She set the tablet down, afraid she'd break it.
She felt another panic attack coming on but she breathed deeply, willing it to pass.
She didn't know what to think. She felt kind of betrayed and yet she was confused.
She wondered what else Stella had kept from her. What else had she been involved in.
She wiped her face and tried to ease her crying but she felt broken. She took the pillow off the bed and screamed into it until she had no more breath.
She lay back and allowed her tears to flow. Tears she'd kept back because she figured she'd cried enough.
She ruminated on what she'd read. She hated how true it all was. That she loved him even though she wanted to hate him. That her mother's illness and impending death had done a lot to her. That days ago she'd been ready to take her own life because she couldn't deal with the grief.
She needed something to numb the pain that had resurfaced. Since he'd taken away the pills, she figured alcohol would be the next best thing.

He didn't sleep very well that night. There had been nightmares and the flu that ravaged his body had kept stuffy and uncomfortable.
It was after 9 in the morning and James wondered where his nurse was. She hadn't come in to check on him and he found that a little disconcerting.
He waited another 15 minutes before calling out, when he heard no reply, he got up.
He wrapped the blanket around his shoulders and went in search of her.
He called out for before looking in his room, the bathroom, living room and kitchen.
He'd noted the open bottles of alcohol in the kitchen, that hadn't been there the day before.
His concern grew. He looked out side, surveying the area but not bothering to leave.
Then he heard a cough. He followed the sound before reaching the door that had been locked from the first day he'd arrived. Stella's room.
The door was slightly ajar. He pushed it open before entering.
She lay on the bed on her side, sniffling. She'd put the pillow over her head and she held a red cloth in her hand.
"Jan?"
"Go away." She said, her voiced aggrieved.

James stepped closer. He pushed the blanket off his body, missing the warmth.
He coughed but came onto the bed.

Jan could feel the bed dip as he came to lay next to her. She pulled away before he could touch her and stood up.
"Don't touch me." She frowned and wiped her face. "I hate you." She stated bitterly. "I wish I'd never met you."
James stared at her stoned faced. He felt anger well up in him before pity overrode it.
He stood up and faced her. Jan stared up into his face, her features twisted up in bitter anger.
"I know you're only here because my mother asked you to."
He crossed his arms and stared down at her.
"You're an idiot." he stated.
"I read the messages."
"What messages?"
"The ones between you and my mother."
He frowned. "When?"
Jan turned away from him, she was dizzy and lightheaded.
He took her hand and pulled her towards him. She pushed at his chest with her free hand.
"I hate you!" She screamed.
She continued to struggle and James felt no remorse when he did what he did next .
He turned her towards the bed and slammed her down into the mattress.
He held her hands above her head and fitted his legs in between hers to keep her from kicking him in the groin.
"Are you going to rape me?"
James flinched before replying.
" No, I like my women sober and willing."
She stared up into his face, searching, then she stopped struggling. The fight went out of her as quickly as it had come.
He kissed her cheek and got off her. "I love you Ms Montgomery, and even though you're drunk right now, you'll realize that sooner or later."
He stood up and realized that she was out cold. He pulled her up onto the bed and left the room. He needed more of that tea .