Dear, Hamilton

Goodbyes and Hellos

I clutch the warm locket hanging around my neck with a gloved hand as I watch Angelica hug Lafayette and Laurens in farewell.

"You be kind to your sister," Lafayette says teasingly to Angelica, who only nods solemnly. When she pulls away from Lafayette, I approach Lafayette and proceed to throw my arms around his neck in a rib-crushing hug.

He lets out a teasing grunt as he comments, "I miss you already, too, Eliza." I laugh despite the sadness that envelopes me at the thought of having to leave this trio of young men.

I discreetly brush at my cheek at the tear that had escaped as I turn to Laurens. I give him a big hug and whisper into his ear, "Be careful, Colonel Laurens."

"I promise, Mrs. Hamilton," he whispers back, his smile evident in his voice. "I'll make sure to keep Alexander from dying on us."

"Funny," I respond dryly before pulling away. Laurens only grins at me, but I see a hint of sadness on his face as he gazes at me. I hear a sound behind Laurens, and I look over his shoulder to see Alexander standing there in his uniform with a navy cloak clasped at his collarbone.

The snow crunches beneath my feet as I step towards him. I vaguely hear Angelica engage Lafayette and Laurens in conversation as if to provide Hamilton and me with privacy. I stare into Hamilton's eyes as I warn him quietly, "Don't go dying for glory any time soon."

He huffs a laugh before drawing me into his embrace. My cheek rests against his warm chest as I wrap my arms around his waist. Hamilton kisses the crown of my head as he murmurs, "I'll see you in a week or two, depending on the army's situation." He pulls away enough to look me in the eyes as he adds mischievously, "And then we'll have that vacation."

I roll my eyes playfully. "Of course, but I'll only believe it when it actually happens."

His wide grin is his only answer. "I'll write you letters," he tells me before pausing and asking, "What number did we leave off of?"

I shake my head with amusement as I reply, "I believe I sent you letter No. 8 to which you haven't responded to yet."

He plays at offense as he counters, "I was going to reply to your letter, but the next thing I knew you were here at Valley Forge. I figured I would say to you in person what I wanted to write to you in the letter."

I raise a brow as I inquire coyly, "And what was it that you wanted to tell me?"

His eyes dip to my mouth for a moment before they return to my eyes. He whispers, "That I miss you so much that it pains me, and that I find myself thinking of you at all times of the day. I'll be in the middle of training the soldiers, and my mind wanders to you. I'll think, 'I wonder what she is up to right now? Or, 'does she miss me as much as I miss her?'"

I laugh softly as I tell him teasingly, "You should already know the answer to that last question through my letters."

He smiles a little at this. "I suppose," he hedges. "But being apart from you makes me question whether you still want me. It doesn't help that you don't send as many letters to me as I send to you." His face falls a little as he says this last sentence.

I poke him in the ribs as I remark with a grin, "So insecure."

But he doesn't laugh or smile at my joke. He holds my gaze as he says, "That's why I suggested we number our letters." He pauses before saying, "Did you know that I was so caught up in thinking about you, that I couldn't remember the code to get into Washington's headquarters? I had to endure the laughter of the guards as I stood outside in the freezing cold, waiting for Laurens to come out so he could tell me the password."