The Photograph Effect

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The Doctor's POV

"You need to back off Amy." I looked up from my messing around.

"Excuse me?" I was bewildered.

"Stop flirting with Amy," Rory said.

"I'm— I'm not— what?"

"You're stuttering," Rory stated. I squinted at him, shaking my head.

"Of course I am, she's my friend," I reasoned. "I wouldn't flirt with her."

"And yet, you are." Rory crossed his arms.

"I promise you, I am not."

"You've never been in love. You don't know what it's like seeing someone trying to steal your woman."

"I am not yours," Amy said, walking in. "I am my own, and have only chosen to spend time with you." She kissed him.

"I have... I have been in love," I said quietly. Amy and Rory looked at me, surprised.

"You have?" Rory asked incredulously.

"Who was she?" Amy asked, interested. I opened and closed my mouth.

"Her name was Rose," I whispered, my voice cracking.

"Doctor, what happened to her?" I looked at Amy for a moment, before taking two worn photos out of my breast pocket.

Amy's POV

The Doctor handed me and Rory two old photographs. They had obviously been taken well care of. He handed me one and Rory the other. There was a picture of a beautiful young woman with bleached blonde hair and brown eyes. She was smiling widely at someone behind the camera, adoration clear in her eyes. Rory traded out our pictures.

There was the same girl, and she had her arms around a taller man, looking into his eyes, smiling. That man was looking at her like she was the most amazing, important, and beautiful woman in the world. His arms were around her waist.

"Oh, Doctor, I'm so sorry," I said. He loved this... Rose, and she was in love with another man.

"That was me," he said. I nearly dropped the photo, but he would kill me if I did.

"That was... you?" Rory asked. The Doctor nodded. "How?"

"I regenerate," he said. "When it's time for me to die, every cell in my body gets ripped apart and put back together again, totally different. All that stays is my mind. I've been in love with her for three regenerations. I believe that we're soulmates. But she's gone. And I'll never see her again." His voice broke and he looked down, trying to hide his tears.

"Oh, Doctor." I went to hug him, but he waved me away.

"She was just a girl from a shop, in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I'm glad that she was. I saved her life, and she stayed with me. She was smart and beautiful. Selfless and honest. She always put others before her, even is she did get jealous sometimes. But she was adorable when she did. She's saved so many people. Myself included, multiple times. She looked inside of the Time Vortex to save me. She was Bad Wolf. Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. She was going to stay with me forever. She was willing to never see her family again if she could stay with me. And she was going to.

"And then she... she... I lost her. In an alternate reality. An alternate universe. I can't get back to her. After a couple years, she... she made a dimension cannon. She... found me. And a metacrisis me was made. He was the exact same as the man in that picture, except that he had one heart and grew old, and didn't regenerate. He stayed with her. In that alternate universe. They probably got married. Had kids. I wanted that future with her. I still do. I love her. I love her so much. I still throw myself into supernovas, trying to get enough energy to get her back. I can't. I can't. I can't." He started hyperventilating, saying 'I can't' over and over, faster and faster. Rory recognized an anxiety attack when he saw one. He gave his picture to me before slowly approaching him.

"Doctor," he said, "Doctor, what are five things that you see?"

"Um, uh, You. Amy. The... the TARDIS, flash... flashing lights..." his breathed calmed a little. "The door..."

"Four things you feel," Rory said, taking a step closer.

"Pain..." he whispered.

"Where?"

"My hearts... my... my..." his breathing became erratic again.

"Doctor, Doctor, calm down. Four things you feel."

"The floor..."

"Good," Rory said.

"My sonic... my sonic screwdriver in my pocket," again, he stopped stuttering. "Fabric. Hair in my eye." He swiped it away. "Your hand." Rory had slowly put his hand on the Doctor's shoulder. I carefully placed the pictures in a safe place on the control panel.

"Great. Doctor, you're doing great. Now, tell me three things you hear."

"Myself. The TARDIS. Your breathing."

"Only two more, Doctor. Two things you taste."

"My tongue, as everyone does." His breathing was deep, and he had almost calmed down. "Blood. I taste blood." Blood? I pondered for a moment before coming to the conclusion that he bit his cheek.

"Doctor, you're doing brilliantly. One thing you smell," Rory said gently, placing his other hand on his other shoulder.

"Snot, honestly."

"Good, Doctor." He pulled him into his arms, and he broke down again. I made eye contact with Rory as I went to hug him from behind. His sobs became audible as he let himself sink deeper into the hole of despair. I don't think he's done this in a long time. His knees gave out, and he fell. Rory caught him and put him down gently. He cradled his face in his hands and let out a scream of anguish.

To this day, I have never heard a more painful, heartbroken sound in my life. It still haunts me.

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