STAIN

drunk

Its been two weeks since I didn't see her, maybe she left now and never come back.. I tried to call to her, through the phone but its always unattended, I went to her house, where I dropped her before, and asked duty guards if there's Jade Fowler. One of them recognized the name, he said Fowler's family gone for awhile while Jade moved out, she's not living there anymore..

Im desperate to talk to her, I know raping her is unforgivable but I want to talk to her. I want to make things right for us in any cost.

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Maybe we have never get a chance to talk about it, maybe she wants to stay away from me, coz I scared her seriously.

Maybe I need to stop looking for her, if she don't want to say somethinh on me, then its all up to her now, she never file a warrant to arrest me to,, and that's the most disturbing thing for me, she didn't do anything to revenge on me.. I need her action, her voice, her glaze , her hate for me.

This is a GUILT and Conscience that never faded away form me, since from that moment I raped her.

..

"Hello?who's this" I asked when I saw its unknown  number.

"Hello, good evening, are you Mr.Bryan Waltzier? " man asked.. How on earth someone stranger know my number

"Yes, what is it?" I asked again

"Well unfortunately its your girl, she's drunk and wasted screaming your name, and the neighbors next on her door suggest that we need to stop her coz everybody's can't sleep well coz of her loudness and we tried to talk to her, but she said call you, then find your name on her phone.. So-" I stopped him.

"Where's the place?" I asked then he gave me the address, where she'd stay over two weeks.

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I walked fast toward the entrance then everyone looking at me, they seemed surprise, maybe they didn't expect the looks behind that phone..

"Damn it! It's hot!!" Jade said on her drunken state.. She was about to rip off her clothes when I came to stop her, her eyes still close and she really are wasted, I hurriedly take her to my car, and put all of her stuff behind.

She's annoying when she was drunk..
Then after long silenced, I heard her crying, I stopped the car on the side way, and look at her, when looking at her my heart crashed, my head's getting heavy coz of so many thoughts.. She's broken, wasted and lonely?

"Jade.. I'm sorry". I tried to talk without stutter, but when she heard me, she look directly to my eyes, I hissed like my whole body shots in guilt that I did.

"I thought you said you like me?" Jade said looking at me with teary eyes. Lips trembling like she trying to stop her sobs.

She mumble something that she only can hear what she was try to day, but I heard some of her words about in love, she tried to convince herself that we both in love and that's why it happened. NO Jade! I raped you, you know it I'd forced you.

"Oh! Are you fucking serious? Really Jade? I told you I like you, its all true. I do like you but I'm not in love with you.. Sorry if you misunderstood me."
I exclaimed through my gritted teeth.

I don't want to hurt her more but we need to clear this all.

I saw her closing her eyes yawning, maybe she don't hear anything what I said coz she didn't say anything, and drunken state will ignore what I say.. She'll forget it..

"Rest Jade, we'll be talk about this tomorrow".  And start the engine.

Maybe I'll bring her to my house. Which is bad idea, but I am tired now.