Noire Rant Book by Noire Herself (i.e. Me!)

Noire Rants 6: Jiren SUCKS!

Neptune: Come on, please?

Me: No!

Neptune: Why not!?

Me: Because I already did a rant about this series twice! A third time is nearly overkill!

Neptune: Come on! You love doing them.

Me: I can't. I need to find something else to rant about.

Neptune: But a rant from this series comes easy for you. Don't you want less stress on yourself?

Me: ... *Did you just say something smart?* Okay fine! But what should I rant about exactly?

Neptune: Oh... I know the perfect one for you... Heheheheheh...

Me: ... It better not be about Frieza.

Neptune: Oh no. It's better than that.

Me: Oh ok-

Me: HOW IS THIS BETTER!?!?!? DAMMIT, NEPTUNE!!!!!! Argh... Why do I fall for this all the time? Why must it be me?

Greeting everyone. You know me as Noire, the Goddess of Lastation. Neptune said I could have my own book as long as I didn't get Sylver wrapped up in it. I don't know what she means by it, but whatever. So I didn't know what to do, so I decided to make a rant book. You see... There are so many dumb things in anime and so on that I had to get it out of my chest. But before I begin, just know that is my personal opinion, if you do not agree with it, then I hope you will respect mine and I will respect yours. Now then, let's get started.  

The Dragon Ball series will always mean something to me. Sure, it's far from perfect (even though it has Cell), but it's still awesome nonetheless, and we DB fans look back to the amazing moments in it. Especially the characters that make up the cast. And then... There's Jiren. Not gonna lie: this one is LONG overdue. I ALWAYS hated Jiren. I'm not even gonna go into detail here. Let's just get started.

First off, there's the fact that, even in DBZ standards, he is BROKEN AS ALL FUCKING HELL! Oh, and here you guys go in the comments

Commenter: Noire, he's op because Goku needed another obstacle and goal to get past. Jiren was the perfect rival for him, especially here.

Oh, and Hit wasn't? Look, everyone in DBZ is overpowered for a reason (for the most part). For Frieza, it was because he was a born fighter and an emperor. If he were to train constantly, his power would skyrocket. Call, he was made with the DNA of Goku, Vegeta, Piccolo, Frieza, and King Cold. During his time, these five were the five strongest warriors to land on Earth. For Goku, he trains constantly, pushing himself to the limits and getting past them. Same with Vegeta. Hit, his technique: Time Skip allowed him to move faster than the eye can see. Jiren... I DON'T KNOW! THERE NEVER TELL US! He's just strong because... Fuck it! He's the next villain! And if you don't believe me, look at the first fight introducing him against Goku. Base form, nothing. Ehh, it's Dragon Ball, so that's a pass. Super Saiyan, still nothing. Again, makes sense. Super Saiyan 2, barely a flinch. Welp, whatcha gonna do? Super Saiyan God (3 is dead at this point), barely a flinch and finally decided to move. Umm... okay... Well that's a bit ridiculous, but why not? Blue, finally attacks, and by attacks, I mean finally deciding to kick his ass. Well, like I said, Blue sucks, so... Blue Kaioken. Still no upperhand. Umm... Okay, that's ridiculous. Finally a Spirit Bomb. I'm sure THAT'LL at least do SOMETHING to this guy. Holds hands up, glares at it, Spirit Bomb turns into a black hole.

...

Okay, WHAT!?!? Majin Buu, the incarnation of insanity, couldn't survive that, but you just fucking Genjutsu that shit as if you're an Uchiha!? NO! And as if THAT wasn't ridiculous enough, when he fights Hit, almost NONE of his Time Skips work. Sure, there were moments when Hit had him, and yeah, I'd see him losing. But not to some bullshit like SURVIVING AN ATTACK FROM THE HEART! Okay no. I don't care what species he is, HIS HEART WAS FROZEN! THAT'S IT! HE'S DONE! SHOULDN'T HAVE RECOVERED! But he somehow finds a way to TANK IT and get Hit out of the ring! What the fuck kind of BULLSHIT is that!? Oh, and remember that part when I mentioned Goku going Blue against this guy. Well there was one point where he did one spin kick and knocked him out of Blue. And it wasn't no power kick. No. Just a regular kick... Knocks him out of Blue... And in the end of the series, even after getting DESTROYED by Ultra Instinct, it still takes MORE THAN ONE PERSON to beat him! No, by the end of that, Frieza and 17 should've had him, but NOPE! Still had enough power to knock everyone off! Because WHY THE FUCK NOT!? Honestly, any oc would be better than this guy! Oh, and speaking of which!

Next is his character. Or LACK THERE OF! This guy is the equivalent of a mary sue villain. And he is. Generic personality, check. Overpowered because why not, check. Backstory seen in every Sasuke-like character, check. Oh right, did I forget to mention, HIS BACKSTORY IS GENERIC AS FUCK!

Commenter: No, Noire. His backstory is great. It talks about how he loses everything, and trains hard to get revenge.

EXACTLY! Almost EVERY ANIME CHARACTER HAS THAT STORY! Sasuke from Naruto! Eren from Attack on Titan! And that's just the tip of the GODDAMN ICEBERG!

Jiren: I lost everyone because I was weak, and now I must seek revenge!

Sasuke: Join the club, dipshit.

Seriously, it's just so wrong. I would forgive his op bullshit if his backstory was interesting enough to justify it. But this... THIS... Is just lazy, cliche, and generic.

Commenter: But Noire, Guts from Berserk has the exact same backstory-!

Okay first: NEVER compare my boy Guts to ANYONE. Second: That doesn't make it better because, at that point, it just  copy-and-paste writing, especially for Toriyama. And third: Guts' personality allowed him to justify HIM being broken. Jiren doesn't. His personality is all like:

Jiren: I am stronger than all of you, so clearly I need no facial expressions.

And when he DOES get out of his bitch-ass pokerface, he's nothing but a complete asshole with- guess what- A GENERIC MOTIVATION!

Jiren: Who needs friends!? Power is everything! SCREW YOUR FRIENDSHIP!

ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS!? THIS!?!? Is this supposed to make him better and relatable!? Because trust me, IT RUINS HIM EVEN MORE! It was already bad enough when he was boring! Now you're gonna make him a complete ass!? EVEN MORE REASON TO NERF THIS GUY! HE DOESN'T DESERVE IT! And all the while, he's all like:

Jiren: You have fought with honor. I respect you-

Shut the fuck up! You have NO HONOR as a fighter! NONE! That's why your bitch-ass lost to a park ranger. Suck Goku's dick, dumbass. You clearly want to.

Okay, that's it for this rant. Sorry if I seemed angrier than usual. Geez, even the harem wasn't this bad. But I hoped you enjoyed. I'm Noire, and Jiren SUCKS!