Loved in Shades (A Jaylor Fanfiction)

Grey

         Missing him was dark grey all alone

One week later in present time.
Taylor's POV
I sit in the darkness once again. My left ring finger is empty and my life feels empty. There's no purpose to it anymore. I haven't seen anyone in weeks and people are probably worried about that. All I've done is try and get over the pain but nothing is working. Another day just sitting on the couch with Friends playing in the background. I used to watch this show all the time with him. It's the episode The one with Joey's Porsche. This series is seriously so iconic. I cuddle under a grey blanket and Olivia jumps on the couch. I pick up her fluffy self and place her on my lap.

"Do you miss Joe? I sure do." I pet her head as she starts to purr which makes me smile slightly. I love the sound of cats purring. It's honestly adorable. I just wish I couldn't feel right now. The room is dark and everything is pale. Everything just feels black and white now, there's no color. Everything hurts in me. All I want is him back but it's too broken. I'm alone again. All I want to do is cry but I can't. There's nothing in me. I can't get the pain out.

I hear a knock on the door and slowly get up. I know it's been a couple weeks since everything but it still hurts just as bad. I open the door to find someone I actually might want to talk to right now.

"Hey Selena."

"No one has heard from you in weeks. I just wanted make sure you were okay."

"I'll never be okay but I'm still alive." I say with an attempted smile.

"I know you're not letting people into your apartment right now but I had to at least try and be there for my best friend. I heard what happened."

"Come on in I guess." I say letting go of the door. She shuts it behind her gently as I walk back to the same place I've been the past couple weeks. On the couch with Friends on the TV.

"Is it really true Taylor? Did you guys really break up?"

"What do you think?" I hold up my left hand to show her.

"I'm sorry Tay. Is there anything I can do?"

"No. There's nothing you can do."

"I can't believe it ended. You guys seemed like the perfect couple. Everyone wanted the love you two had."

"Well, it wasn't always perfect. It was perfect for a while actually but I didn't last. It's funny how one thing can completely destroy a relationship."

"You were Joe Alwyn and Taylor Swift. It seemed like nothing in the world could break you guys."

"Apparently there was. Once we started to fall apart, nothing stopped it. It just melting, breaking more by the day until there was nothing left."

"It's a mess in here Taylor. When's the last time you've even cleaned up?"

"I don't know...weeks probably."

"What about your mail or anything?"

"I haven't checked my mail in quite some time either. It's all the way in the mail locker which I really don't want to get up and leave this place to get."

"Let me do it then. I will get you your damn mail."

"No, it's fine."

"I'm your friend and you clearly need help. Just at least let me get you your mail."

"Okay if you're gonna be all crazy about it. The key is by the door. Locker number 3."

I see her walk out the door and I'm not sure if I'm happy or frustrated that she's here. When she comes back she has a stack of mail that she's just struggling to carry. I quickly stand up and go to her so she doesn't completely drop everything. I take what's in her hands and set it on the nearby counter. I see something that is slightly suspicious and catches my eye. It's an oversized orange envelope with silver on the sides to keep it from opening. As Selena walks back to the kitchen I walk back with the envelope.

"Thanks Selena." I say as I try opening it.

"No problem...do you know what's in there?"

"I have no idea." I finally open it and all I see inside is papers.

"Well what is it?" She asks again.

I take out the papers and just when I thought my heart couldn't break anymore...it did. The papers filled with black text and screaming words on them that I don't want to hear. It hurts my eyes just to look at this.

"It's um...it's divorce papers. Joe filed for a divorce."

"Oh..."

I sit back down on the couch just looking through it all. Small tears run down my face as I come even more to terms with the fact that it's all over.

"I didn't think it was that bad Taylor. I thought you at least had a chance of getting back together."

"We haven't truly been together for a while Selena. We had an extremely toxic relationship. With both left the relationship...we both left the moment..." I can't even bring myself to say it. Tears run down my face again even more. She moves over to try and hug me but I immediately reject it.

"Selena...I need you to leave please."

"Taylor, I'm not going to leave you alone. You're my friend and I need to help you. I'm here for you."

"Leave now!" I say raising my voice.

"No."

"Selena get the hell out of here!" I yell which then causes silence.

"Okay, I'll go." 

She gets up and walks out of the door. She was just trying to help and all I did was yell at her. I'm an awful friend. I take another look at the papers and it just breaks my heart. I mean, I saw this coming it was just a matter of time. I just don't believe right now.

How can we be getting divorced? It seems like just yesterday we were getting married.
———————————————————
Authors note: More sadness for today. Taylor was quite rude though.

Anyways,

Comment😊

Vote

-Madie❤️