I fell in love instantly

Damn these human emotions

Artist- LMPandora on DeviantArt
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I run my hands through my hair stressfully. Why did I say that? Did I need to be that much of a dick?
I stand up. Yes. I did. I have work to do, I don't have time to tolerate a friends silly crush. Plus, I don't even swing that way...

Do I? I think back to the daydreams of Cecil, touching me. Am I as straight as I thought? I've only ever been attracted to girls. I brush it to the back of my mind and start to walk to the kitchen to get some coffee.
I have to sit down as a wake of nausea hits me. I curl up on the floor as a few tears escape.
He's my friend. Just my friend. So why do I want him so badly?
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I sit on the floor, staring vacantly at the blank station wall. Where did I go wrong? How did I fuck up this badly? How? My face feels wet, but I don't bother to dry it. Chad quietly hands me a cup of tea. I take a small sip and set it down quietly.

I think chad is worrying about me. I haven't moved it what feels like years but has probably only been 2 days at most. Since Carlos broke me. I read somewhere you can die from a broken heart. If so, why haven't I died yet?

I need to move on. The listeners will be worried. I have time, and I will get over him. Maybe not today. Or anytime soon. But perhaps one day.
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I finish my broadcast and slowly walk home. I see a flash of white on the other side of the street. I turn my head and see Carlos wearing his trademark lab coat. He stares at my apartment, lingering on the sidewalk, then he sees me, and walks quickly away. I can feel more tears leaking, and I almost sprint home. I throw myself on my bed and sob quietly.
Who am I kidding? I'll never get over him.
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I stare at Cecil's building for a minute, wanting to work up the courage to apologize. Not to tell him my feelings- I'm still not sure of them. Is it lust? A short crush? Or... perhaps love?

I see Cecil walking briskly towards his apartment, and he spares a glance towards me. I can feel my eyes welling with tears, longing to run across the road and apologize. And... what is this feeling? I want to kiss him. I want to do things to him that would make a bdsm freak shocked.
I reel with the implications, and scurry home like a terrified mouse.